What I Learned from Carol Ann Preston

From her post Listening to God

If you have not read her post you may be wondering what a dog has to do with prayer and meditation. Well Carol Ann taught me what I have heard a million times. "In all our affairs."

"When we retire at night" is the line of discussion in her post Listening to God. Those resentments which we carry will make us sick.

My experience is that with a few years of recovery under my belt I have really worked through all the BIG resentments. Those I carried for years. If they pop up I know immediately and can work through them quickly. But what I, like Carol Ann forget is "when we retire at night" to look for and at those small resentments over silly things. Usually my evening prayers are for others and towards the character defect du jour. When reading her post I realized I have never prayed for those small resentments like my son not picking up after himself or my husband leaving my gas tank on E just for me. Yes I just MIGHT need to look at myself and how those little life resentments contribute to my character defects.

It is amazing how much I can learn from others when I open myself up. How things seem so much simpler when the Steps are applied.

So tonight I pray for my husband, son and yes our doggies too. For I know the resentment of the dog hair, chewed shoes, vet bills and constant care needed. I also, like Carol Ann know the blessings these animals bring, the laughter, the company and unconditional love. For all the unimportant resentments such as walking in the cold and rain, picking up dirty laundry and wiping yet another crumby counter, I will pray. I will remember to be grateful.

Thank you Carol Ann!

Connect with Carol Ann Preston
Remembering Who We Are
Amazon.com
Room for Healing

What I Learned from Rabbi Shais Taub

From the post A New Year

I have to start off by saying I love the name Chaya Mushka and the fact that it means "the spice of life." I will certainly have to name a set of beads after Chaya Mushka. Thanks for sharing that with us. LOVE IT!

On a more serious note I have two parts of this post that I would like to share on.

The first is from these words...

"When we remember to let G-d do His thing, and we just focus on doing our thing, then change becomes much more fluid, much more peaceful. In other words, life's gonna change regardless. How I deal with change is all in my head."

For me it is ALWAYS that darn "remember" word that gets in my way. If I could just remember to do EVERYTHING I have learned all the time, well, wishful thinking. That fact is I am human and do need to put into place ways of being mindful so I can "let G-d do His thing" and stay out of the way. There is such comfort in that process. And how true, life is going to change, I can not stop those changes. Those changes that I resist are usually what is best for me and I could not even see it. It is only in hindsight that I realize the change was good for me. So to get out of the way and focus on doing my thing allows the process to be "fluid" and "peaceful." Now I just need to "remember."


The second part in this post that jumps out at me is...

"Having a head of change also means being able to quickly let go of opinions that I fought so hard to hold on to. I ask G-d to give me the maturity to realize when my outlook has been wrong and to quickly, gracefully move away from old ideas and thoughts."

Wow! I need this repeated to me regularly. For my closest relationship, which is with my husband, I need to use these words. I can daily ask "God give me the maturity to realize when my outlook is wrong and to be open to new thoughts and ideas." Done, new morning prayer. But the part that gets me is "that I fought so hard to hold on to." The visual I get from those words is not pretty. It is so much easier to let go. I just need help getting there. Pray hard.


Thank you Rabbi Taub!

Connect with Rabbi Shais Taub...
http://www.chasidicthought.com/

What I Learned from Gail DeWitt

View 2010 posts from Gail

I think the biggest thing I learned from Gail's posts is the difference between affirmative prayer and visioning. In some ways it reminds me of when they say prayer is talking to God and meditation is listening to God. These are the two lines that really spoke to me...

"In this process you becomes centered in your intuitive mind, opening to God’s ever-present inspiration and guidance, and ask that God enlighten you on some need or desire. This is a conscious act of being open to the best God has for you."

I always want to remain open to the best that God has for me. As I am human I frequently fall into the trap of thinking I know what is best for me.

Another thing I love is specific instructions. I love and need instruction. Whenever there are instructions I follow them. Even when I do things around the house I like instructions. How to get a ink stain out of a wool carpet? I look for instructions. How to make a cornice for my window? I look for instructions. And for anyone else like me looking to learn how to deeper connect with their HP instructions for the visioning process is a gift.

Thanks Gail!

Connect with Gail...
http://www.conscious-contact.com
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Conscious-Contact/64237559102
http://www.myspace.com/spiritualpractice

A Simple Gift

The Gift of

A Conversation with a Wise Man

We are all on the same path, headed for the same ultimate destination. Some began the journey sooner, some later. There are of course crossroads and interchanges that take us off in directions that lead nowhere or that after much traverse bring us back to the path upon which we began.

With this understanding;

Be kind to one another.

Do not judge or condemn for this inevitably results in bitterness and remorse

Rather honor and respect each other Recognize that it is a privilege to interact

with each person that crosses your path.

Esteem given to others most assuredly fuels the esteem of self.

Time is precious, each moment an opportunity to be more, to do more, to love more. Service to our fellows is time not wasted on self and always reaps great reward.

Acceptance of what is - will always lead to a state of inner balance and harmony;

Acceptance does not mean agreement or acquiescence, it does not suggest

complacency - it does not imply that inaction in the face of injustice is even a

choice to be considered.

Acceptance provides a platform for clear headed, assertive address of life’s

vicissitudes.

Acceptance is one of the greatest personal characteristics.

Be patient; everything in this world is governed by the law of seedtime and

harvest time.Though a sprig of parsley may sprout quickly it also withers in the

face of the slightest adversity. An oak tree takes years to develop and is able to

withstand the fiercest of storms.

Never be haughty, pride inevitably destroys relationships and is never attractive.
Rather allow humility to be your guiding principle. Once a good deed has been done,once a kindness shown,retreat back into the shadows seeking nothing in return.

Allow yourself, in fact encourage yourself to continuously grow, mentally,
emotionally and spiritually. Though this requires constant change it is a key in
becoming and remaining happy.

Let your love flow unabated to the world. When given without reservation,
without any condition it will be like a river of living water that cannot be depleted.

Trust that there is a source of all things and that by connecting to that source
you will eventually lack no good thing.

VISIT DAVID L. BYRD

Humility & Gratitude

By Rabbi Yisrael Pinson

Since I moved to the United States I learned that November means two things: Turkey and Gratitude. Thankfully I am well versed in the Hebrew language, and I didn't have to memorize much: the word in Hebrew for turkey - HODU, means... "Be Grateful"... And it is also the first word of my prayer every morning. The Jewish Prayers start with the verse from Chronicles 16:8 "Be grateful to the L0rd, proclaim His Name, make his deeds known among the nations".

In order to improve my conscious contact with G0d, I need to pray and meditate. The key to my prayer and the secret to my connection, is my humility. That brings us back to the word HODU, which can also be translated as "Be Humble". Can I really connect to a Higher Power if I think I am a higher power myself? Will I be willing to ask for G0d's will for me and the power to carry it out, if all I am concerned about is my own will and desires?

Gratitude is also impossible without humility. If I believe that all my success can be traced to my own power, I have no reason to be grateful. If I am convinced that I truly deserve all the gifts that are coming my way, I have no need to say Thank You. The only way to have gratitude is when I have the humility to recognize that I am not all that powerful. When I acknowledge that left to my own devices I have repeatedly engaged in unhealthy behaviors with negative consequences, I can be grateful to G0d that helps me stay away from my dysfunctional self.

And the best way to express my humility is to show gratitude. It is not enough to think humble, or to speak humble, but I have to act humble. I act humble, when I act grateful. When I recognize that what I have is a gift, it is natural for me to share the gift with others. When I appreciate actions that others take to help me, I am compelled to take actions to help others.

So, every morning, as I start my day I am reminded of three things: HODU - Be Humble. HODU: Be Grateful. HODU: Don't forget your turkey sandwich for lunch...


Rabbi Yisrael Pinson
Daniel B. Sobel Friendship House
thefriendshiphouse.org
JewishRecovery.org
JewsInTheRooms.com
twitter.com/RecoveryRabbi
facebook.com/JewishRecovery

Listening to God

It continues to amaze me that after almost 3 decades of practicing the process of healing through the 12 steps, God continues to awaken areas of my being that does not understand or questions, as I have in certain areas of the Big Book. A big ah-ha moment came this week, and it has taken a bit time to settle into my soul and then my mind so I could share with you this awakening, this gift, God so generously gave me, regarding the 11th step.

‘When we retire at night…..’ following step 10 into step 11 as written on page 85 in the BB, after the statement ‘that we must go further,…’ and that includes prayer and meditation.

So why then are we asked on the next page, “When we retire at night…..” to review our day with specific questions? I missed this for so long as I have been so focused on ‘On awakening….” that would allow me to rely on God’s inspiration and intuition, prayer with others, reading spiritual materials, etc.

The answer is simple, at least now that I ‘got it’ and I feel a bit humbled with love to see just how long this understanding and powerful awareness has taken to receive. You see, somewhere I became so focused on the Wow of God, the harmonious dance of living following His will and wanting more of God and less of me that I forgot the power of a simple resentment and how they can build into armor of our heart, day after day. Eventually silencing His voice, as my heart in an area (not all areas) had become hard and my mouth was complaining, lacking gratitude, or behaving martyr-like, etc. Some days grateful and other days slipping in complaints as described above. That takes a deeply hidden resentment to pull all of that off.

Let me give you a simple and humbling example of my experience that taught me this lesson, and a deeper understanding as to the why of having a nightly inventory and prayer, before awakening to a new day prepared to connect with God, awaiting His inspirations and direction to go forth and serve Him and help my fellows. A bi-product, with prayer and meditation has also been to have an open heart and mind that allows God to help me honestly, humbly recognize when I am wrong, knowing this too is with His grace, Love and in perfect time.

I wanted a new dog, a puppy preferably, and one of a breed that was far more than we could outright afford, unless we saved our dollars to purchase this type of dog, one that really becomes part of your family and that is what I longed for. At Christmas, my mom gave us a ‘doggy bank’ and started our savings. I was thrilled as I realized we really could save for something like this, and I thought of the day we could have our puppy sleep and travel with us, never far away. Be careful, as they say, for what you ask for.

A few months later, a family friend asked me if we still wanted this type of dog, as she had a friend who had two and could no longer take care of them, and they were not puppies, they were apx. 3 and 4 years old. Of course, I talked with my husband (he would give me anything if he thought it would make me happy) and we agreed, as we had also prayed for the gift of this dog, believing God cares about all areas of our lives and our hearts desire.

We did not consider the financial cost, or their current health needs, and we jumped in eagerly anticipating the days of joy with our new dogs. I have never had two dogs at the same time, although I have had several dogs, and their passing was more painful than the last. This was an exciting time for us. Then their hair started shedding, and the vet checks were needed, or shots, special diet for allergies, and daily exercise, etc.

What happened to my former ideas? They were gone, as all I could see was dog hair all over my clean house. Yes, my house, my this and my that. Leaving the grooming, feeding, walking, etc all to my husband. Now, reading this you would think I was just entering my teens, but oh no, I am a grandmother. I tried to connect with them, but the resentment I could not see grew daily and I fell into remorse and guilt as my resentment grew my heart grew harder toward these innocent loving dogs. I forgot that underneath most resentment is fear.

Months passed and my husband finally said that it was up to me, as I had checked with this type of dog adoption and there were over 500 families! On this wait list. I replied to my dear hubby with “I just can’t take their shedding hair everywhere, and they need, and this cost ??, blah-blah-blah……..“all to avoid what was truly bothering me. I told my hubby that we needed to give them up for adoption, as it would be better for them (another manipulation As he lowered his head, in thought maybe, but then my concern became that he was going to be hurt by letting them go, as he had bonded with both of them and loved them. I could not go through with it, but I was in a dilemma; clean house (not the real reason for my resentment) or accept what it is and deal with it and find a way to bond with both dogs. They are in fact wonderful dogs, beautiful and well mannered. I wanted this type of dog breed for so long, we prayed, we saved and then God found a way to see that our hearts desire was met with being given two for free; as it cost us to take care of them as we would any other family member, food, shelter, doctors/vets, etc. However, my love for my husband would not deal with this deep resentment, as it had not been dealt with at all. The first part of prayer and meditation still eluded me and I continued to practice inventory at every other time, except before retiring.

So, on to prayer and meditation, this seemed silly on the surface, even so much so that I was concerned that sharing it with another would be met with the silliness of it all. Nevertheless, I followed directions in step 11, before I retired, I discussed this with someone, my resentment of two beautiful dogs, hurting my husband, and asked her to pray for me and for God’s healing and Grace to bring me relief of this resentment. She joyfully did so, listening with all of her attention and then praying over me. I felt relief, knowing God’s power is sufficient to remove this resentment and help me repair the harmed I had caused, do things differently and healing the fear that was underlying this whole thing. I slept great that night. I suspect both dogs did too, as they sensed something had changed. I woke to a new day and talked to them, not at them; I had new eyes. No longer were they in the way as I walked into a room, stepping over them, but real life beings that needed a kind and gentle word or touch. Their shedding hair, well it still whirls around the house and I have decided to manage this I simply need to mop our home a few times per week. No big deal for the return of their unconditional love and the happiness in the eyes of my husband, as he too recognizes change and accepts my amends. This results into relationship with God’s creation and in so relationship with the Creator of all that is good.

Now, I can connect and listen to God, as the resentment, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, was gone. I am connecting with both of our dogs and will not leave all of their care to my patient hubby, who never complained, but loved them until I could. Thank God for patient people in our lives.

I thank God for bringing us twice what we prayed for and simply wanted. God is good and generous indeed. My heart was scared to connect with yet another pet who will some day be gone. But for now, they can sit by me as I read my Bible, or commune with God. In addition, my hubby and I will walk them each evening together, a bonus for all.

I am very grateful for God’s patience and gentleness in showing me the errors of my heart. God always delivers truth with love. Now, I can be more assured of being a channel of God’s love and patience, as was given so freely to me.

Until next year,
Many Blessings,
Carol Ann Preston


carolannpreston(c)2010

Remembering Who We Are: a workbook
Carol Ann Preston, can be purchased at any online or local bookstore

‘Relationship Show’ with Carol Ann and Monty at www.take12radio.com
Listen 24/7 with a new show every Saturday

www.roomforhealing.com

Relationship

I am very grateful to begin this month sharing with readers again, especially with growth I have experienced over this past month specifically. I am experiencing joy that I have only known one other time in my life, when I had a profound spiritual experience (later thrown away with anger) and it is now 30 years later that my spirit is renewed and excited to be in relationship with Creator God, along with Jesus and The Holy Spirit; The Trinity.

I have shared in the past that I have longed for an intimate relationship with Christ throughout my life, as young as I can recall. However, I longed for no ordinary relationship, but an extraordinary relationship. I was lost most of the time, not knowing what my part was in relationship with Christ, believing He was present in my life and was ‘doing His part‘, but I was lost and returned to drowning the depth of this unfulfilled relationship, actually there was little to even call a relationship until the gift of good directions was offered to me via the 12 steps.

Once in recovery and my faith was beginning to be renewed, I poured myself (willing to go to any lengths) into the action required of me hoping the result would satisfy this longing in an intimate, loving relationship with God. (To avoid being redundant, when I mention God, this includes Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit as One, except when specifically discussing the One, as being One of the Trinity.) Over the course of the past 29 years, I have had a number of profound spiritual experiences, but never like what I am experiencing and understanding recently and today, knowing this will never end as long as I follow the must in the BB and continue to grow.

In addition, how perfect is God’s timing? As they say, “When the student is ready the teacher appears! “ So very true. I had to make some hard decisions, one that I have struggled with most of my life and that is my former Religion, the spiritual bondage I felt, along with my experience of ritual and duty over desire to be in relationship with God, as well as the little value I experienced as a woman/female; basically I had limited opportunities to serve based on the fact that I was created a woman. I have gone back and forth for years with some going to both extremes, until I finally took a good inventory of my relationship with the religion of my family, and decided it was not in harmony with the longing of my spirit to be walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. Therefore, I left and after months of pondering where to find a spiritual family that is in line with my belief in The Trinity.

As God would have it through good decisions, action and trust, my husband and I met a wonderful couple who invited us to experience their Celebration and Worship of God. Wow, a celebration! I could not wait and off we drove, after considering this for a few months, knowing we could not bear the absence of a spiritual family, we went. Moreover, long story short, we continue to attend every Saturday night. Yes, Saturday night, and funny how we could not arrive timely to our former place of worship (3 minute drive from our home) and now we begin to prepare for our 2 hour round trip drive Saturday afternoon, excited to celebrate relationships with our human spiritual family and to praise and worship God together.

Now that I am current with just a few changes we have made, my mind open and my spirit trusting, eagerly learning and my mind being opened, as though a veil had covered it from understanding what my spirit knew; I experience Joy on a daily basis. Yes, deep and abiding joy, happiness, all of those wonderful things we are promised in the BB, as well as The Bible; the whole Bible, not just the New Testament.

These past few weeks have been a Jewish celebration, called The Feast of Tabernacles. A time celebrating God’s Glory. This is something I have never experienced, yet, once I understood how we could experience this celebration, I was willing and excited. I finally ‘heard’ in my mind and in my heart, that God wants to be with me, with us! Some of you may have known this for years, and I understood from a distant perspective that yes, God wants to be with us, not believing HE is now and present and yes, wants us to set aside time to be with Him. This is more than our regular morning prayer and meditation, but setting aside time to sing, read The Bible, share with each other God’s blessings and our hearts gratitude, inviting God to be with us. Now understanding that God also wants us to give Him the first of all we do and are, like the first part of our day, the first of our blessings, etc, leading up to Tabernacles.

I hope those of Jewish faith excuse my lack of explanation, as I truly want to share the new awareness and experience in my soul, that God is present in my life, and He wants to be with me. We experienced His presence each time in our Sukkah (a temporary shelter) and as little kids; we built ours inside of our home with a sheet, making a tent.

I have not experienced in truth and reality God’s presence that satisfied my longing for an extraordinary relationship until now. To share the intimate time we experienced with God is too precious and I do not want to set an expectation for you, other than what is written in The Bible. Simply believe He wants to be with you and let His Spirit guide you.

This is not a relationship just for weekends, or during holidays, but everyday God wants to celebrate life with us. His Presence, essence is now part of me, although I was happy before, a joy I have never known in this way, where my mind and my spirit are in harmony with each other and I am at peace. Grateful in a new way. I guess you could say I have been reborn, again. Who knew?

Today I am in relationship with God, understanding that Jesus wants us to also know God. I never understood Chris’ statements about providing Living Water (John 7:37-38) “On the last day of the feast, Jesus said in a loud voice, ’If anyone is thirst, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, streams of living water will flow from his innermost being.” Again, as though a veil as lifted from my mind, my soul is satisfied with Living Water and that is the everlasting presence of His Spirit.

Sadly, I did not expect much from God as one of my former core lies about myself, was that I had no value or worth, and today I realize that God wants to be with me, as I have value and worth because He created me. No wonder my expectations or hopes that God would want relationship with me, as that core idea was with me even until recently, and He relieved me of this lie in an instant.

Step 11 in the BB, page 85 states, “Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities.” How can we do so unless we are in relationship with His Spirit? We are given the expectation to expect God to inspire us and this will eventually become a working part of our mind. This is not an emotionally based relationship, it is mind and spirit. We are told in the BB, page 87, “We come to rely upon it” God’s inspirations, yet we have to be with Him as we would any other relationship, we have to show up, learn about who we are in relationship with, etc.

Lastly, the BB also tells us to make use of what Religious people have to offer, and suggests that there are also helpful books for us.
I pray that you too may come to expect an intimate relationship with God, and to continue seeking, along with the steps, guidance that supports your growth in relationship with God. We tell newcomers in meetings, that they never have to be alone again, well at 3:00am when everyone is sleeping and we find ourselves alone, God will never leave us and our dependence and relationship with God must be real.

The good news is God will meet us right where we are, as we continue seeking Him, He will satisfy the longings of our heart, and for me that was an intimate, alive and joy filled relationship with The Trinity. It is nice to begin to be in relationship with God, as my focus these past 29 years has been solely on Christ and now I am in relationship with The Trinity.

I look forward to your comments, as my intention is to share experience, strength and hope to support your continued growth in relationship with God.

May your day and night be filled with joy, as you experience relationship with God, Creator of all that is good.

Many Blessings,
Carol Ann Preston


carolannpreston 2010

Remembering Who We Are: a workbook
http://www.take12radio.com/ listen 24/7 to the Carol Ann Preston show on ‘Relationships’ with new shows posted every Saturday.
http://www.roomforhealing.com/