Self Examination, Meditation, and Prayer

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer.  Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.  But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life."  Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 98

This passage is very powerful to me.  I have a BIG arrow pointing to it in my Step book and many works highlighted.  I think today the word that is speaking to me is "unshakable."  Lets face it, like most people, I have been shaken enough in my life time, so to find something unshakable = GOOD. 

For me, the first part is always the willingness.  I ask myself,  am I willing to continuously practice self-examination?  Yes, I personally am.  I am a BIG lover of Step Ten.  I don't always do it perfectly but the practice is ingrained in me.  In the early years of my recovery I would call my sponsor going on and on about this or that.  Mostly everyday life stuff that would really rattle me.  She would listen briefly and then say "Gwen, go read Step 10 and call me back."  Oh I hated when I got to the words... "every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 90.  But by continuously being brought back to that line the self-examination became a way of life.

Am I willing to continuously practice meditation?  Yes, I personally am.  But now it was a question of HOW?  So in hindsight I can tell you I started doing this in the earliest days of my recovery unknowingly.  See I could not sleep in early recovery.  I was so used to the alcohol pass out I had no idea how to settle my mind and go to sleep without it.  There were many many nights I only dozed off here and there.  People in the rooms told me "no one ever died from lack of sleep."  My friends mother, not recovery related at all, gave me a meditation cassette.  I used it every night.  I wore that cassette OUT!  It was a guided meditation.  I just popped it in and laid in bed.  It was amazing how it worked. 

As I stayed sober this practice, every so slowly grew and grew.  I bought more guided meditations and bought many books.  I was open and tried new ways of getting the mind quiet.  Journals, letters to God (combo self exam and meditation,) walking, being alone in nature, breathing (what a concept.) 

Am I willing to continuously practice prayer?  Yes, I personally am.  Again I was doing this from my earliest days in recovery.  My prayers started out something like this... "God please help me stay sober for the next five minutes."  I clung to the lines I heard old timers say, "I never saw someone get drunk who HONESTLY got on his hands and knees and asked God to keep him sober."  I put a ton of faith in that from day one.  Guess what?  It worked.  Time and again, over and over, one day at a time, I stayed sober.  In my worst moments I would hit my knees and BEG God to keep me sober till I could get to that next meeting.  Slowly the begging was not necessary as the obsession to drink faded away.  But life continued and I learned to STAY sober I still needed Gods help.  Life was happening all around me and I had no clue how to deal with it.  I blindly asked God for acceptance of _____________, for willingness, to slow down, for help.  I used the Serenity Prayer, the Third Step prayer, the Seventh Step prayer, the Prayer of St. Francis.  People gave me prayer cards.  One I remember was Slow Me Down Lord.


It has taken many years to interweave these practices in my life.  Please don't think I am in any way on a kneeler every morning with lit candles then sitting for hours in a meditative pose.  I am a human being, soberly living in a high paced world.  I have days when I can do a very formal practice and days when it is done quickly.  The point is I am willing to continue building my unshakable foundation and it just gets stronger every day.

Are you willing?

Gwen R~

The 6th Step on the 11th Step Meditation Journey

I like to approach the inner journey of working the all Steps from an 11th Step Meditation perspective. After being sober for a few years Steps 6 and 7 are where I experience the most personal growth and self improvement. Slowly I whittle away at reducing my defects and the negative effects they have on my life and my relationships. Once we have taken an inventory of our resentments and fears, and have learned to begin to be honest and detach ourselves from these feelings and we are at the starting line to make a commitment to remove our defects of character.

My defects of character are the tools that I've used to help create the present condition of my life or my "Spiritual Garden." In the unseen world of spirit and energy, I imagine that I am constantly preparing the ground, sowing seeds, allowing trash and weeds to accumulate, feeding and watering my Spiritual Garden with my thoughts, emotions and actions. Thoughts are things. There are positive and productive tools that we can apply to improve our lives and the condition of our Spiritual Gardens. The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are wonderful examples of the spiritual gardening process and our 11th Step meditations help with the inner work to improve our lives from the inside out.

Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

This brings up several questions for me that need to be addressed to help me understand this step in its proper perspective.

Am I really ready to have God working in my life? This is an example of how we are constantly applying the actions of the 3rd step through the steps and our lives. Every moment is a Step Three decision moment for me. Do I turn left to follow my old ways and habits, or do I make a right turn to step away from my defective habits and towards God? Am I willing to bring my "entirely readiness" of Step Six to each present moment to remove my defects? To be honest...probably not. Only when a defect is creating new wreckage of the present do I become more ready to take action, once again.

What are defects of character?

If we develop the perspective that we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience, we can imagine that defects of character are all of our thoughts, emotions and actions that we have created to prevent us from living as pure Spiritual Beings. As our SpiritSelf, True Self, or Higher Self we are one with each other, our world, the universe and with God. In Step Two I imagine that one of the qualities or attributes of my Higher Power, God, is love. This energy is the root or foundation of the entire Universe and that as a spiritual being I an expression of this love in action.

At the time of our birth, we are living as our SpiritSelf, pure expressions of love, observing and interacting with the world through innocent perception. Our experiences and environment begin to overwhelm us as we interact with people and situations and we learn to act and feel in ways that contradict our true natures as Spiritual Beings. I forget that I am connected to and always in the presence of God. My ego grew and developed in reaction to conditions and the experiences I've had as a very young child. We begin to feel separate and alone, losing our natural connection to God and the Universe, in the same manner, just as we are dis-connected from our mothers at birth.

Defects of character can be viewed as any thought feeling or action that does not express our spiritual nature. Our defects are rooted in fear and our fears are rooted in our sense of separation from God. When we meditate and focus on a oneness with God we feel a sense of peace and calm. When we forget our divine connection we become afraid and act in ways that we think are protecting us from all that we are afraid of.

The traditional religious perspective of defects of character is as sin. Sin, from a Christian point of view, is defined as, any thought or attitude, act or failure to act that violates God’s standard of perfect holiness. I've heard that sin originates from a Greek term in archery to “miss the mark.” I came into the program with a resentment against the word "sin." But, the more I study my defects and strive to unlearn them, I have let go of this resentment.

So, we miss the mark or fail to hit the target of expressing our spiritual nature when we express a defect of character. What are character defects....and what are their Spiritual opposites, virtues, that we can strive towards as a goal?

In the book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions on page 48 it states, "to avoid falling into confusion over the names these defects should be called, let's take a universally recognized list of major human failings— the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy, and sloth."

I have found that if I focus on the quality or virtue that I wish to express more fully in my 11th Step Meditation it begins to take root and grow within me. I once heard a story of an Indian Medicine Man talking with a young boy. He said "I have two wolves that live within me, one is named Anger, the other is called Love, that battle each other for my attention." "Which one is stronger and will win?" asked the boy. "The one that I feed with my thoughts and actions grows stronger and will win," said the Medicine Man. Meditation is an effective spiritual exercise to feed the quality and energy of Love within me, on purpose, everyday. I use positive affirmations in my meditation as mantras to accomplish this. Here is an example of a simple yet effective affirmation that you can try:

"I am the Love of my Higher Power in action."

As you work Step 6 in meditation you may substitute any virtue that expresses the opposite of the defect you are striving to overcome into this affirmation. Repeat it over and over with in rhythm with your breathing in your meditation. You may wish to add a visualization to accompany the affirmation that reinforces and imprints the energy of the quality within you. In this way we begin to weed out the defects within our Spiritual Garden and replace them with the fruits and flowers of our virtues.

So that we may get to know them better....here are definitions for each of the seven deadly sins from www.freedictionationary.com and for the virtues I resourced http://www.all4god.net/7_sins.htm:

1. Pride - A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect. Arrogant or disdainful conduct or treatment; haughtiness. An excessively high opinion of oneself; conceit. It’s spiritual opposite is humility. Seeing ourselves as we are and not comparing ourselves to others is humility.

2. Greed - An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth. It’s spiritual opposite is generosity. Generosity means letting others get the credit or praise. It is giving without having expectations of the other person.

3. Envy - A feeling of discontent and resentment aroused by and in conjunction with a desire for the possessions or qualities of another. It’s spiritual opposite is love. Love actively seeks the good of others for their own sake.

4. Anger - A strong feeling of displeasure, hostility or impatience with the faults of others. It’s spiritual opposite is kindness or goodwill. Kindness means taking the tender approach, with patience and compassion.

5. Lust - An overwhelming desire or craving, the self-destructive drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth. This is what we often call “obsession.” It’s spiritual opposite is self-control or moderation. Self-control and self-mastery prevent pleasure from killing the soul by suffocation. Blessed are those that are moderate.

6.Gluttony - Excess in eating, drinking, entertainment and other legitimate goods, and even the company of others. Its spiritual opposites are faith and temperance. Temperance accepts the natural limits of pleasures and preserves natural balance. Faith is trust that all that you need will be supplied.

7. Sloth – a repulsion of work or exertion; laziness; indolence. When we live a life stuck in our LowerSelf, our defects of character combine to deaden our spiritual senses. We grow slow to respond to God and eventually drift into a spiritual slumber. It’s spiritual opposite is Zeal. Zeal is the energetic response of the heart to God's commands.

Here is an online guided meditation that you may wish to try that will help get you started.




In the Fourth Step it describes how we are often “angry, indignant, self-pitying and incredibly dishonest. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Selfishness – self-centeredness! That we think is the root of our troubles.” This vividly describes the alcoholics life of missing the mark and creates the foundation for our defects!

My next post later this week will answer the question - Who do the defects of character belong to?

Randy F.
www.spiritstep.com
www.11thStepMeditation.org

God of Our Understanding

Hello, IOCC Friends,

I wanted to share with you some exciting developments that have already come along in this brand new year.

Back in the Spring of '09, the work I was doing in Milwaukee was covered on NPR. At the end of the interview, I mentioned that I was writing a book on Jewish spirituality and the Twelve Steps which I really was. I just hadn't started actually writing it yet.

So, I emailed our very own IOCC Blog editor, Gwen R., and asked her if I could use the blog as a forum to start pounding out some of my ideas. Here's a post from this blog from 3.23.09.

This post actually became part of a central part of my book which contains several chapters explaining the implicit theology of the Twelve Steps.

Anyway, I just received the proofs for the cover. This is not necessarily a final draft but it's cool to see.

Thank you all so much for reading and literally PULLING the creativity out of me. Writing this book has been a tremendous opportunity to be of service and I have already benefitted so much, thank G-d, from it all.

Rabbi Shais Taub
http://www.chasidicthought.com

Alcoholics Anonymous and the Bible

A.A. History Fragment No. Two
Dick B.
© 2009 Dick B. All rights reserved

Alcoholics Anonymous Cofounder Bill Wilson wrote of early A.A.: “Each morning, there was a devotion. . . . Anne would read from the Bible. James was our favorite. . . the Book of James was a favorite with early A.A.’s—so much so that ‘The James Club’ was favored by some as a name for the Fellowship.” Dr. BOB and the Good Oldtimers, 1980, 71. Dr. Bob stated: “they were convinced that the answer to their problems was in the Good Book. To some of us older ones, the parts that we found absolutely essential were the Sermon on the Mount, the 13th chapter of First Corinthians, and the Book of James.” DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers, 96. Dr. Bob also stated: “I didn’t write the Twelve Steps. I had nothing to do with the writing of them. . . . We already had the basic ideas, though not in terse and tangible form. We got them . . . as a result of our study of the Good Book.” DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers, 96-97. For a careful review of the basic ideas that Alcoholics Anonymous got from the Bible (which they called the “Good Book”), see Dick B., The Good Book and the Big Book: A.A.’s Roots in the Bible.

http://dickb.com/goodbook.shtml

A Rabbi’s Perspective

As a rabbi, I have been asked time and again if there is anything about The Twelve Steps that is “objectionable” from a Jewish theological perspective. The easy answer would be to say that The Twelve Steps espouse no particular theological beliefs and are, as such, compatible with all spiritual paths. But that’s not the answer I give. The Steps, although replete with the qualifier, “G-d of our understanding,” do make, or at least imply certain ideas about G-d.

Therefore, the answer that I give when asked about the compatibility of Jewish belief and The Twelve Steps is that not only is there nothing in The Twelve Steps that is problematic from a Jewish perspective but that The Steps can help Jews better understand their own G-d. The Steps, in their clear and simple language, marvelously communicate certain truths in which we as Jews are already enjoined to believe.



Twelve Steps Theology

At the risk of making a sweeping generalization, allow me to say that addicts are always looking for an excuse not to recover. It’s just part of the disease. Every addict – irrespective of his or her drug of choice – possesses a sense of “terminal uniqueness." Sooner or later, they will always tell you, “But my case is different.”

This presents a special dilemma. The most basic premise of The Twelve Steps is that living according to spiritual principles brings on a reprieve from active addiction. Spirituality is the solution. But if The Twelve Steps were recognizably aligned with any known ideology or set of beliefs, addicts would find an easy excuse for feeling driven away from the program. Thus we see that while Twelve Step groups are, as a rule, staunchly committed to spiritual principles, they are equally as renowned for their absolute inclusiveness and flexibility on all matters pertaining to the particular beliefs of their members.

In recovery circles, one often hears this dichotomy described as the distinction between “spirituality” and “religion.” Religion denotes dogma and articles of faith. Spirituality is a softer, more supple word that leaves itself open for all kinds of interpretation. To wit, there is the often told, though perhaps apocryphal tale of the avowed atheist who upon coming to AA acceded to choose the doorknob as his Higher Power.

It’s understandable why AA and the Twelve Step groups that came along after it must hold a staunchly non-sectarian position on matters of belief. At the same time, however, it would be dishonest to claim that The Steps are devoid of any particular theology. While there is nothing like a list of theological principles where articles of faith are enumerated, a thoughtful reading of The Steps will, however, lead one to conclude that they are indeed based on a distinct theological position.



G-d in the Steps

Following are the Twelve Steps as originally published in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of G-d as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to G-d, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have G-d remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with G-d, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Of the Twelve Steps, only the first mentions alcohol. Four of them (Steps 3,5,6 and 11) explicitly mention G-d and two more of them refer to G-d either as “a Power greater than ourselves” (in Step 2) or with the pronoun “Him” (in Step 7).

Being that six of the Twelve Steps mention G-d, it’s difficult to imagine that they offer absolutely no notion as to who or what this G-d is. And although, as mentioned earlier, it often serves a convenient purpose to pretend that the program takes no distinct theological position, to persist in this assertion is to simply discount the facts.

The Steps don’t just refer to G-d, they tell us about Him. First, they let us know that He is a Power and that this Power is greater than ourselves. G-d is not an idea or an abstraction. He is a force and He is active and this force is mightier than we are. Further, we are told that this Power can actually do something for us – something quite big. (It can restore us to our sanity.) These are all theological statements and these are all contained just in Step 2. In other words, right away in the Second Step, we have already been told quite a lot about G-d – not just that He exists but about how He manifests in our lives.

The next Step, in which we are told to turn our will and our lives over to His care, tells us even more about G-d – that He cares. That’s another distinct theological position. One can believe in G-d and not believe that He cares, but this Step tell us, at least implicitly, that He does indeed care. In Step 5 we are told that we can talk to Him; we can speak to Him openly and honestly. In Steps 6 and 7 we are told that G-d can change us and that we can ask Him to do so. In Step 11 we are told that we can consciously engage Him and that we can ask Him for knowledge of His will and the power to carry out His will. This, incidentally, also sets forth another very big idea – that He actually has a will. That’s a strong theological statement. G-d has a will. And not only does He have a will, but He has a will for us, things that he specifically desires from the individual.

Far from existing in a theological vacuum or free-for-all, The Steps are actually based on several key premises about G-d. These are not ideas to be taken for granted. They are by no means universal. Not all belief systems hold these views, but the program, does. He is a Power; He can affect our lives; He is caring; He has a will.

In the coming weeks, we will endeavor – with G-d’s help – to examine all of these and other distinct theological positions of The Steps in greater depth.



--
Shais Taub

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