A.A. and Bill Wilson: Here's the rest of the story

Alcoholics Anonymous History
How Bill Wilson Came Firmly to Believe That Alcoholism Could Be Cured by Conversion to God through Christ

Dick B.
© 2012 Anonymous. All rights reserved.

For many years during his childhood, Bill Wilson repeatedly heard that his paternal grandfather William C. (“Willie”) Wilson had been cured of alcoholism in a conversion experience atop Mt. Aeolus in Bill’s home town village of East Dorset, Vermont.

Throughout his youth, Bill was exposed to the account of his grandfather’s conversion and cure of alcoholism. And his exposure to the Bible, to Christian religious training, and to spiritual growth was far more substantial than has previously been known.

For example, Bill and his paternal and maternal families attended the East Dorset Congregational Church. There they listened to sermons, and recited the confession and creed. There were tent meetings and revivals, and Bill witnessed conversions to God through Jesus Christ. Moreover, Bill and his maternal grandfather, Fayette Griffith, read the Bible individually and together. Bill also read the Bible with his friend Mark Whalon. Grandfather Fayette enrolled Bill in the East Dorset Congregational Church Sunday school. We are still investigating what transpired of a religious nature, if anything, during Bill’s residence in Rutland, Vermont. However, during his matriculation at Burr and Burton Academy in Manchester, Vermont, Bill regularly attended the daily chapel, and heard Scripture reading. He was required to attend the weekly church service at the Manchester Congregational Church. He took a required, four-year Bible study course at the Academy. And Bill was president of the Academy Young Men’s Christian Associatio, while his girlfriend, Bertha Bamford, was president of the Burr and Burton Young Women’s Christian Assocation. Both both attended chapel together at the Academy, and also “Y” functions.

Some years later, Bill’s psychiatrist, Dr. William D. Silkworth, explained to Bill that Bill could be cured by the “Great Physician,” Jesus Christ. This explanation occurred during Bill’s third hospitalization at Towns Hospital in New York, where Silkworth told Bill that there was a need in recovery for a relationship with Jesus Christ, Silkworth using the term “the Great Physician.” [Dale Mitchel, Silkworth: The Little Doctor Who Loved Drunks (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2002), 50].

Then Bill’s old friend, Ebby Thacher, made a visit to Bill. Ebby related to Bill that the celebrated psychiatrist, Dr. Carl Jung, had made a statement—“the one which saved Rowland Hazard’s life and set Alcoholics Anonymous in motion. . . . ‘Occasionally, Rowland, alcoholics have recovered through spiritual experiences, better known as religious conversions.’” [Bill W.: My First Forty Years (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2000), 125]. Ebby also told Bill that he had been lodged at Calvary Rescue Mission on the East Side in New York. [Bill W., 131]. Ebby was sober. He said to Bill, “I’ve got religion.” [Bill W., 133]. He touched upon the subject of prayer and God. [Bill W., 133-34]. And then, as Bill stated in his own words, “My friend sat before me, and he made the point-blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat.” [Alcoholics Anonymous, 4^th ed. (New York: Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., 2001), 11].

I found a manuscript at Stepping Stones which, at lines 935-942, told of Bill’s further statement: “Nevertheless here I was sitting opposite a man who talked about a personal God, who told me how he had found him, who described to me how I might do the same thing and who convinced me utterly that something had come into his life which had accomplished a miracle. The man was transformed; there was no denying he had been reborn.” [See Dick B., Turning Point: A History of Early A.A.’s Spiritual Roots and Successes (San Rafael, CA: Paradise Research Publications, 1997, 99-100.] Bill also pointed to a further statement by Ebby, and said, “But my friend sat before me, and he made the point-blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. Doctors had pronounced him incurable. Society was about to lock him up. . . . That floored me. It began to look as though religious people were right after all.” [Alcoholics Anonymous, 4^th ed., 11].

Bill’s next move was to go to Calvary Rescue Mission. He stated, “Remembering the mission where Ebby stayed, I figured I’d go and see what did they do, anyway down there. I’d find out. . . . There were hymns and prayers. Tex, the leader, exhorted us. Only Jesus could save, he said. . . . Then came the call. Penitents started marching toward the rail. . . . Soon I knelt among the sweating, stinking penitents. Maybe then and there, for the first time, I was penitent too. Something touched me, I guess it was more than that. I was hit.” [Bill W.: My First Forty Years, 136-37].

Several witnesses confirmed what Bill did at the altar: (a) Mrs. Samuel M. Shoemaker, Jr., talked with me on the telephone and told me she was present when Bill made his decision for Christ at Calvary Mission. [Dick B., The Conversion of Bill W. (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research Publications, Inc., 2006), 61]. (b) Bill’s wife, Lois Wilson, confirmed Bill’s decision for Christ. Speaking of Bill’s trip to the altar at the Mission, Lois Wilson said: “And he went up, and really, in very great sincerity, did hand over his life to Christ.” [“Lois Remembers: Searcy, Ebby, Bill & Early Days.” Recorded in Dallas, Texas, June 29, 1973, Moore, OK: Sooner Cassette, Side 1]. (c) Rev. Sam Shoemaker’s assistant minister, W. Irving Harris, wrote this: “It was at a meeting at Calvary Mission that Bill himself was moved to declare that he had decided to launch out as a follower of Jesus Christ.” [Dick B., New Light on Alcoholism: God, Sam Shoemaker, and A.A., 2d ed. (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research Publications, Inc., 1999), 533-35.]. (d) Bill twice made a further statement of great interest. It is not clear whether Bill was referring to his decision for Christ at the Calvary Mission altar or to his subsequent spiritual experience after calling on the “Great Physician” at Towns Hospital not long thereafter. But Bill Wilson twice wrote, “For sure I’d been born again.” [See Bill W., My First Forty Years, 147; Dick B., Turning Point, 94-98; and Dick B., A New Way In (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research Publications, Inc., 2006), 61-62)]. (e) At Stepping Stones, I (Dick B.) personally found a letter that Bill had written to his brother-in-law stating that he [like Ebby] had “found religion.” [Dick B., The Conversion of Bill W., 62]. We now have in our possession a copy of Bill Wilson’s signature on a book he gave to a distinguished Christian religious writer. Bill signed it, “In Christ.”

After his spiritual experience at the Calvary Rescue Mission altar, Bill wandered drunk for a time and then staggered into Towns Hospital for his last visit there. Bill said, “I remember saying to myself, ‘I’ll do anything, anything at all. If there be a Great Physician, I’ll call on him.’ Then, with neither faith nor hope I cried out, ‘If there be a God, let him show himself.’ The effect was instant, electric. Suddenly my room blazed with an indescribably white light. . . . I became acutely conscious of a presence which seemed like a veritable sea of living spirit. I lay on the shores of a new world. ‘This,’ I thought, ‘must be the great reality. The God of the preachers.’ . . . I thanked my God who had given me a glimpse of his absolute Self. . . . Save a brief hour of doubt next to come, these feelings and convictions, no matter the vicissitude, have never deserted me since.” [Bill W.: My First Forty Years, 145-46]. As Lois Wilson’s biographer related the situation, Bill said, “I thanked my God, who had given me a glimpse of his absolute Self. . . . It was December 11, 1934. Bill had just turned thirty-nine. He would never again doubt the reality of God.” [William G. Borchert, The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 2005), 166].

When Bill consulted Dr. Silkworth after the experience, Dr. Silkworth said to Bill, “You have had some kind of conversion experience.” [Bill W.: My First Forty Years, 148]. And the recent biography of Bill Wilson’s wife, written by William G. Borchert, tells the details of Bill’s immediate, enthusiastic witnessing as follows:

“The doctor [Dr. Silkworth] always allowed Bill to share his God-experience with some patients, hoping somehow it might help. And Bill began learning about the mental and spiritual part of his alcoholic malady from Dr. Shoemaker, who had now befriended the former Wall Street analyst. Dr. Shoemaker encouraged Bill to spread the message of change and spiritual recovery to others like himself.

“Bill took the preacher at his word. With Lois’s full support, he was soon walking through the gutters of the Bowery, into the nut ward at Bellevue Hospital, down the slimy corridors of fleabag hotels, and into the detox unit at Towns with a Bible under his arm. He was promising sobriety to every drunk he could corner if they, like he, would only turn their lives over to God.” [Borchert, The Lois Wilson Story, 170]

And what was the simple message, as Bill explained it to the wife of A.A. number three and set forth in his “Basic Text” (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4^th ed.) at page 191: “‘Henrietta, the Lord has been so wonderful to me, curing me of this terrible disease, that I just want to keep talking about it and telling people.’”

Bill’s conviction about his permanent cure was so strong that he arranged a meeting in December 1937 at the boardroom on the 56^th floor at the Rockefeller Plaza in New York City. The meeting lasted five hours. Four Rockefeller associates—Albert Scott, Leroy Chipman, W. S. Richardson, and Frank Amos—were present. So, too, were Dr. Silkworth and Bill’s brother-in-law, Dr. Strong. In addition, there was an array of what Frank Amos called “the following ex-alcoholics, William G. Wilson, Henry G. Parkhurst, William J. Ruddell, Ned Pointer and Bill Taylor, all of New York and vicinity; Mr. J. H. F. Mayo of near Baltimore, Maryland; Dr. Robert H. Smith and J. Paul Stanley of Akron, Ohio.” Frank Amos stated that Bill Wilson had briefly told Mr. Richardson, “the story of how, after many vain attempts to discontinue the use of alcohol, he had achieved what he believed was a permanent cure, through what he termed a religious or spiritual process.” Dr. Silkworth stated “without reservation that while he could not tell just what it was that these men had which had effected their ‘cure’ yet he was convinced they were cured and that whatever it was, it had his complete endorsement.” [The foregoing is contained in the “History of the Alcoholic movement up to the formation of The Alcoholic Foundation on Aug. 11, 1938.” I personally obtained, with permission, my copy of this second report by Frank Amos at the Stepping Stones archives in Bedford Hills, New York.]

For further details, please see Dick B., The Conversion of Bill W.: (http://dickb.com/conversion.shtml)

Dick B.
PO Box 837
Kihei, HI 96753-0837
dickb@dickb.com
www.DickB.com

Gloria Deo

Quotable Quotes of A.A.'s Dr. Bob for 2012 Founders Day

by Dick B., Copyright 2012 Anonymous. All rights reserved

Despite the plethora of biographies, autobiographies, films, TV presentations, and other literature about A.A. Cofounder Bill Wilson and even his wife Lois Wilson, many an AA, codependent, 12 Step Fellowship member, clergyman, professional therapist, treatment program worker, and Christian leader simply knows virtually nothing about the enormous role and wise sayings of A.A. Cofounder Dr. Robert H. Smith of Akron (usually called "Dr. Bob").

This particular article will help make the 2012 Founders Day in Akron a great deal more understandable, meaningful, and significant. It will quote just a fewof the many remarks made by A.A. Akron leader, Dr. Bob. Made as he guided others to new lives. And these are they:

"Do you believe in God, young fella? Not a god. God" See DR BOB and the Good Oldtimers, p. 144.

"Your Heavenly Father will never let your down!" Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th ed., 2001, p. 181.

". . . we were convinced that the answer to our problems was in the Good Book. To some of us older ones, the parts that we found absolutely essential were the Sermon on the Mount [Matthew 5, 6, and 7], the thirteenth chapter of First Corinthians, and the Book of James," The Co-Founders of Alcoholics Anonymous: Biographical Sketches Their Last Major Talks, p. 13 [From Dr. Bob's last major address to AAs in 1948].

"I have found that no one can be permanently happly unless he lives in harmony with the rules set down in the Good Book. Try it some time. You don't need to wait till you're down and out before you ask for help. There's help waiting for you right now, if you just ask God to help you," "I Saw Religion Remake A Drunkard," September 1939, Your Faith Magazine, p. 84.

"Dr. Bob was always positive about his faith, Clarence [Clarence H. Snyder] said. If someone asked him a question about the program, his usual response was, 'What does it say in the Good Book?' Suppose he was asked, 'What's all this First Things First?' Dr. Bob would be ready with the appropriate quotation: 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousners, and all these things shall be added unto.'" DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers, p. 144. [Matthew 6:33]

"Dr. Bob, another founder of A.A., also addressed the Shrine assembly. As he was introduced, the audience rose to its feet in tribute. The fame of Dr. Bob is great in A.A. In soft, confident and unhurried words he too reiterated the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous: 'Read religious literature. Resume church attendance, cultivate the habit of prayer, and transmit the desires and principles of Alcoholics Anonymous to others.' He particularly recommended reading the Bible,
Tidings, Friday, March 26, 1948, p. 17.

Gloria Deo

A.A.'s Two Timelines and A.A.'s Bible Roots

Alcoholics Anonymous Bible Roots - Timeline

The Real Time-lines (two of them) that marked the beginnings of A.A.

Dick B.

Copyright 2012 Anonymous. All rights reserved

April  20, 2012

Akron Events:

Russell Firestone got saved and healed of alcoholism on the train back to Akron from the 50^th triennial General Convention of the Protestant Episcopal Church—a General Convention of the Episcopal Church]held in Denver, Colorado, September 16-30, 1931.

Russell and his friend James D. Newton traveled widely for the Oxford Group in the ensuing months, giving their testimony in the United States and elsewhere.

The Oxford Group (not Groups) founder, Dr. Frank N. D. Buchman, and other Oxford Group members put on a series of meetings in Akron beginning on Thursday, January 19, 1933, and extending to Monday, January 23. Rev. Walter F. Tunks, rector of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, was actively involved in hosting the meetings. [Russell was among the many who attended the huge number of meetings, widely publicized in Akron papers said during these January 1933 meetings in Akron. He and others gave testimony as to their Oxford Group life-changes through Jesus Christ.

Henrietta Seiberling (of the well-known rubber dynasty family), Dr. Bob’s wife Anne, and two other ladies attended the 1933 events and soon started attending a small Oxford Group meeting, persuading Dr. Bob to join the group.

Shortly after the January 1933 events, a small group of Oxford Group members began meeting every Wednesday night in the home of T. Henry and Clarace Williams. Henrietta Seiberling, and Dr. Bob and Anne Smith, were among those attending weekly.

Henrietta believed she had received revelation from God that her friend, Dr. Bob, must not touch one drop of liquor—a message she conveyed to Bob. But Bob continued to drink excessively and told Henrietta he guessed he was just one of those “wanna wanna” guys.

During this period, and while still drinking, Bob felt it necessary to “renew” his familiarity with the Bible in which he said he “had had excellent training” as a youngster in Vermont. He read the Bible three times from cover to cover. He joined a Presbyterian Church. He read all kinds of Christian literature (which is still available for view at Dr. Bob’s Home in Akron as to one part, and at Brown University as to the other). Bob said he read all the Oxford Group literature he could get his hands on.

Around the end of April 1934, Henrietta Seiberling asked group members that they be prepared to be straightforward about shortcomings and to “share something costly” at the next meeting.

Dr. Bob shared at that (next) meeting: “This may cost me my profession, but I am a silent drinker and I can’t stop.”

Henrietta asked Bob if he would like the group to pray. Bog agreed; and there in the Williams’ living room they went down on their knees and prayed for Dr. Bob’s deliverance from his drinking problem.

Two weeks later, Bill Wilson arrived in Akron.

Bill Wilson had failed in a business venture, was tempted to drink; but instead he called Dr. Walter Tunks from the Mayflower Hotel in Akron. Tunks gave Bill a referral that led to Henrietta Seiberling. Bill told her: “I am a rum hound from New York and a member of the Oxford Group. And I need to talk to a drunk.”

Henrietta thought Bill was “manna from heaven.” She arranged to have Dr. Bob come to her home at the Seiberling Gate Lodge. And the two agreed.

Bill W. and Dr. Bob met on Mothers Day, May 12, 1935

The principal thing that came out of the six hour meeting was that Dr. Bob concluded that, despite his and Bill’s association with the Oxford Groups, only Bill had grasped their idea of “service”—helping others get well. Something he said he had never thought of, considered, or done.

Soon Bill moved into the Smith home during the summer of 1935. Bill and Bob listened each day as Dr. Bob’s wife read the Bible to them. They particularly favored the Book of James. The two men stayed up until the wee hours of the morning studying the Bible, discussing a possible program, and developing their ideas for recovery.

Dr. Bob went on one more binge and then quit for good – something he had never been able to do. Henrietta and he felt his cure (which is what he called it) t was in answer to the prayers.

Bob and Bill decided they had better get busy, find another drunk, and help him. And they phoned the nurse at Akron City Hospital. Bob told her they had found a cure for alcoholism. And they met Bill D. (A.A. Number Three-to-be). Bill D. told them he already believed in God, was a Deacon in his church and a Sunday school teacher, and didn’t need to be sold on religion. Bill and Bob told him to give his life to God and that he must help another once he was cured. Dotson did just that, was immediately healed, and stepped from the hospital a free man—who participated in A.A. meetings and service for the rest of his life.

As Bob said, at that time, they had no Steps, no Traditions, and (of course) no Big Book, nor drunkalogs, and no meetings as we now know them. The date of Dotson’s discharge from the hospital was July 4, 1935; and Bill declared that that was the founding date of the first A.A. Group—Akron Number One.

From that point forward, they had daily meetings. They called themselves a Christian Fellowship. All were hospitalized. All read the Bible with Dr. Bob in the hospital, were asked to confirm their belief in God, and then got out of bed and on their knees and accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

Every morning the AAs, their wives and families would gather at the Smith Home for a Quiet Time led by Dr. Bob’s wife. Anne would open with a prayer, read from the Bible, have group prayer, have a group quiet time, and then usually share from her journal [Anne Smith’s Journal, 1933-1939] and have discussions on it. Copies of the Upper Room—a quarterly Christian devotional—were distributed by Mother G.

On Wednesdays, there was one regular meeting of the “self-styled alcoholic squad” at the home of T. Henry Williams. Sometimes the few Oxford Group people would hold their meetings in one room, and the alkies in another. Every single member was required to make a “real surrender.” This meant he was taken upstairs with two or three members (usually Dr. Bob and T. Henry). The newcomer would kneel. The others would pray with him and over him. He would ask Jesus Christ to become his Lord and Savior. The prayers were that God take alcohol out of his life and guide him to live by Christian principies. Because these meetings were characterized as “old fashioned revival meetings” focused on healing drunks, they were referred to as a “clandestine lodge” of the Oxford Group and distinguished themselves from the Oxford Group which held other kinds of meetings and were focused on teams’ doing “world changing through life changing.”

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The daily meetings opened with prayer. There was reading from the Bible, group prayer, group Quiet Time, and a period when newcomers were taken upstairs with two or three oldtimers. In their homes, AAs read Christian devotionals like The Runner’s Bible, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, The Soul’s Sincere Desire by Glenn Clark, The Christ of the Mount by E. Stanley Jones. These were circulated among them by Dr. Bob and read. So were innumerable Christian books Dr. Bob and Henrietta Seiberling and Anne Smith were reading—Kagawa’s Love: The Law of Life; Henry Drummond’s The Greatest Thing in the World, Healing in Jesus’ Name by Ethel Willitts, Christian Healing, Soul Surgery by Walter, Studies in the Sermon on the Mount by Oswald Chambers, Twice Born Men and Life Changers by Harold Begbie, and many many others.

By November of 1937, Bill and Bob counted noses and found that 40 alcoholics they personally knew—men who had gone to any lengths to follow the path—had maintained sobriety. Twenty had never had a drink. Ten had relapsed but returned and succeeded. This meant that 75% of these seemingly hopeless, medically incurable real alcoholics had been cured.

Clarence Snyder: First meeting called “Alcoholics Anonymous” held on May 11, 1939, in Cleveland, Ohio.

This meeting took to Akron the “best” of the old program—the Bible, the Oxford Group 4 Absolutes, the Big Book, and the 12 Steps. It grew in one year from one group to thirty groups. It took people through the Twelve Steps in a day or so. And its records disclosed that they had attained a 93% success rate.

New York Events

Rowland Hazard had developed a serious alcoholism problem. He treated unsuccessfully with Dr. Carl Jung in Switzerland. But he relapsed. Jung told him he could not help him because he had the mind of a chronic alcoholic. Jung suggested that a real conversion might relieve Rowland.

Rowland affiliated with the Oxford Group, began associating with Rev. Samuel M. Shoemaker, made a decision for Christ, and thoroughly mastered Oxford Group ideas.

Ebby Thacher, Bill W.’s childhood friend and soon-to-be “sponsor,” meets Oxford Group members Shep Cornell, Cebra Graves, and Rowland Hazard. Ebby had previously decided to get gets sober in Manchester, Vermont. Then his three Oxford Group friends told him about the Oxford Group’s Christian principles, about the power of prayer, and lodged him in Calvary Mission in New York. It was at that Calvary Mission altar that Ebby made a decision for Jesus Christ.

Bill’s third hospital visit was in September 1934. This is when Dr. Silkworth told Bill that if Bill did not stop drinking, Bill would die or go insane. And Dr. Silkworth also told Bill that Jesus Christ, the Great Physician, could cure Bill of his alcoholism.

Ebby Thacher surrendered (accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior) on November 1, 1934, at Calvary Mission in New York.

Ebby then visits Bill at his 182 Clinton Street home in New York in late November, 1934. He told Bill about the Oxford Group’s Christian message, about the power of prayer they advocated, and about his own rebirth at Calvary Mission—Bill concluding that Ebby had been born again.

Ebby came back to Bill’s home again, probably in the first days of December 1934, with Shep Cornell of the Oxford Group.

Bill then heard Ebby give his testimony at Calvary Church.

Then next day, probably about December 7, 1934, Bill went to Calvary Mission as Ebby had done. Bill knelt at the altar and accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. Bill He wrote his brother in law that he had “found religion.”

Bill wrote in his autobiography and in another manuscript about that event saying, “For sure I’d been born again.”

On his way to Towns Hospital, Bill decided that he should probably call on the Great Physician for help.

December 11, 1934, Bill arrives at Towns Hospital for his fourth and final visit.

While there, he said: “If there be a God, let Him show Himself!”

This is when his hospital room filled and blazed with an “indescribably with white light.” He experienced the presence of God, and declared that this must be “the God of the Scriptures.”

He declared of this event that he never again doubted the existence of God.

He was released—cured--from Towns Hospital on December 18, 1934. He then went everywhere with a Bible under his arm—to the Bowery, to Calvary Mission, to flea bag hotels, to Towns Hospital, etc.—telling drunks his story (that the Lord had cured him of the terrible disease of alcoholism), and that they could get healed of their alcoholism by giving their life to God.

www.dickb.com; www.dickb.com/goodbook.shtml; www.ChristianRecoveryCoalition.com; Dick B.

Gloria Deo

God, I Can’t Hear You

“Prayer is not about changing God, but being willing to let God change us.” —Richard Rohr

I have been sober for nearly 13 months and, like most people in their first year of sobriety, I experienced an extraordinary spiritual awakening. Early in recovery, I recall telling my sponsor I had undergone my spiritual Aha! moment. What a joke. Leave it to a real alcoholic like myself to believe I had it all figured out before Step 1 was ever even completed.

In reality, the awakening did not occur at a particular time; instead, it evolved into something wonderful as time passed. I learned and lived the steps. The dark cloud began to fade; the desire to drink diminished over time; and the well-known term ‘easy does it’ started to make perfect sense. Indeed, it was an awakening: my spirit woke up from a long winter’s nap.

Step 11 in the Big Book says we sought through prayer and meditation to improve our communication with God. We ask for knowledge of His will and the power to execute it. While the Eleventh Step is a beautiful way of life, I believe it is often overlooked for the sheer magnitude of its meaning. Words like ‘prayer,’ ‘meditation,’ ‘knowledge of His will,’ and the ‘power to carry that out’ are overwhelming, especially to the alcoholic who has been spiritually dead.

Through daily prayer and pause, God’s whispers are loud and clear. I hear His words and witness His work throughout the day, but I must maintain a grateful heart to receive such blessings. If you’re having difficulty with Step 11, I encourage you to be honest with God. Ask Him to change the desires of your heart so they are in line with His. And, listen closely. You’ll hear Him in the words of a stranger, through the kindness of a friend or in the beauty that surrounds you.

According to page 87 in the Big Book, “We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.” The Eleventh Step is really that simple. Put one foot in front of the other—He’ll take care of the rest.

Alison Broderick is a freelance writer who is passionate about carrying the message of recovery to those suffering from the disease of addiction. She lives in Marietta, Georgia with her husband and two boys, ages 8 and 6, and devotes much of her time to MARR—a non-profit recovery center in Atlanta that provides lasting treatment through gender-specific programs and therapeutic community.

Self Examination, Meditation, and Prayer

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer.  Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.  But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life."  Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 98

This passage is very powerful to me.  I have a BIG arrow pointing to it in my Step book and many works highlighted.  I think today the word that is speaking to me is "unshakable."  Lets face it, like most people, I have been shaken enough in my life time, so to find something unshakable = GOOD. 

For me, the first part is always the willingness.  I ask myself,  am I willing to continuously practice self-examination?  Yes, I personally am.  I am a BIG lover of Step Ten.  I don't always do it perfectly but the practice is ingrained in me.  In the early years of my recovery I would call my sponsor going on and on about this or that.  Mostly everyday life stuff that would really rattle me.  She would listen briefly and then say "Gwen, go read Step 10 and call me back."  Oh I hated when I got to the words... "every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 90.  But by continuously being brought back to that line the self-examination became a way of life.

Am I willing to continuously practice meditation?  Yes, I personally am.  But now it was a question of HOW?  So in hindsight I can tell you I started doing this in the earliest days of my recovery unknowingly.  See I could not sleep in early recovery.  I was so used to the alcohol pass out I had no idea how to settle my mind and go to sleep without it.  There were many many nights I only dozed off here and there.  People in the rooms told me "no one ever died from lack of sleep."  My friends mother, not recovery related at all, gave me a meditation cassette.  I used it every night.  I wore that cassette OUT!  It was a guided meditation.  I just popped it in and laid in bed.  It was amazing how it worked. 

As I stayed sober this practice, every so slowly grew and grew.  I bought more guided meditations and bought many books.  I was open and tried new ways of getting the mind quiet.  Journals, letters to God (combo self exam and meditation,) walking, being alone in nature, breathing (what a concept.) 

Am I willing to continuously practice prayer?  Yes, I personally am.  Again I was doing this from my earliest days in recovery.  My prayers started out something like this... "God please help me stay sober for the next five minutes."  I clung to the lines I heard old timers say, "I never saw someone get drunk who HONESTLY got on his hands and knees and asked God to keep him sober."  I put a ton of faith in that from day one.  Guess what?  It worked.  Time and again, over and over, one day at a time, I stayed sober.  In my worst moments I would hit my knees and BEG God to keep me sober till I could get to that next meeting.  Slowly the begging was not necessary as the obsession to drink faded away.  But life continued and I learned to STAY sober I still needed Gods help.  Life was happening all around me and I had no clue how to deal with it.  I blindly asked God for acceptance of _____________, for willingness, to slow down, for help.  I used the Serenity Prayer, the Third Step prayer, the Seventh Step prayer, the Prayer of St. Francis.  People gave me prayer cards.  One I remember was Slow Me Down Lord.


It has taken many years to interweave these practices in my life.  Please don't think I am in any way on a kneeler every morning with lit candles then sitting for hours in a meditative pose.  I am a human being, soberly living in a high paced world.  I have days when I can do a very formal practice and days when it is done quickly.  The point is I am willing to continue building my unshakable foundation and it just gets stronger every day.

Are you willing?

Gwen R~

A special Maui thank you from Dick B

Thanks to Maui's Community TV Station -- Akaku. As one who was given the opportunity a few years back to present an extensive series of talks about the history of Alcoholics Anonymous free of charge, I am aware of and thankful for this service.

I'm also one of those haoles who has been visiting Maui and other Islands since 1968 with family, friends, and AA members. I left my 49'er heritage in California and became a resident here in 1990. I have always loved singing and Hawaiian music. Performers usually have leis, flowers, and appropriate garb. They are skilled with string instruments and even the unique falsetto sounds.

Today is Saturday, March 17, 2012. As I looked out on the ocean, beach, Crater, beautiful trees and flowers, I happened on a local program of students - a contest. They sang in Hawaiian. Their music was beautiful. Thanks to the different groups competing in the contest and for what they add to the charm of the Islands.

I mention this because many many tourists, brides and grooms, honeymooners, grampas, and kids come here particularly in this "High Season." The beach is loaded with beachcombers and surfers, and it would be so easy to get caught up in water activities, whale watching, biking, paddle boarding, and even the large TV stations and yet miss the local Hawaii programs that perpetuate the beautiful language and harmonious singing. If you want a special tip as a present or future visitor, tune in to the Akaku station for local music. Public TV also often carries it. See the Islands for their language and music as well as their beaches and views. Most streets carry Hawaiian names. I learned that one of our two Senators Daniel Akaka led the beautiful chorus at the large missionary church in Honolulu.
He even sang to the Senate in Washington, D.C.

Aloha. See you in Hawaii!!!!!!

On Meditation in the Big Book

The Eleventh Step of Alcoholics Anonymous states:

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

It has been my experience that the "and meditation" part of this step is often overlooked and omitted as a foundation for a sane and serene recovery program.

Meditation, as stated in the 12 & 12, is "intensely practical" which is why I feel that Bill W.'s article on emotional sobriety, dicusses one of the first fruits of meditation.

In another article in the Grapevine, from March 1962, and included in the book Language of the Heart on pages 269-272, Bill mentions one of the methods he uses to meditate:

"One way to get at the meaning of the principle of acceptance is to mediate upon it in the context of AA's much used prayer, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference....In times of very rough going, the grateful acceptance of my blessings, oft repeated, can also bring me some of the serenity of which our prayer speaks. Whenever I fall under acute pressures I lengthen my daily walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and breathing.....This benign healing process and repetition, sometimes necessary to persist for days has seldom failed to restore me to at least a workable emotional balance and perspective."

Bill shows us how he used a type of walking meditation to find emoational balance. The Big Book offers some great advice and perspective on meditation and applying it in the 11th Step.

Step 11: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

As the Step reads it states that we seek through “prayer and meditation.” When I began getting sober I noticed that many people in the rooms did not pay attention to the “and” and left a specific meditation period out of their program.

The type of meditation that the Big Books talks about is more of a reflective, thinking over things, type of quiet period. This mirrors what most Western religious people in the 1930’s knew about meditation and AA’s roots in the Protestant Oxford Group. Meditation, as we know it today, was not widely understood, yet, in the United States. But, these early members were onto one of the keys to emotional and spiritual sobriety which Bill W. would focus on later on in his sobriety.

There are a number of good suggestions in this section and I suggest that you read and become familiar with this section of the Big Book as you begin your meditation journey. Here are some of the quotes that stand out for me:

“On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.” Page 86

Yes, morning is considered the best time for meditation before my mind becomes obsessed with the day and my ego begins to run the show.

“Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought- life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. “ page 86

My thinking had become unmanageable and is probably the root cause of many of my troubles. I think many of us are thinkaholics and meditation helps to teach us detachment from our thoughts.

“….we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.” Page 86

In meditation, I can practice opening myself to my higher power, detaching from my ego, and allowing the divine therapist some time and space to help heal me in ways that I cannot understand.

“Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle.” Page 86

I relax and let go. I am constantly thinking and feeling and doing. How can I access my higher power or the universe if I am never quiet and still.

“We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind.” Page 87

Conscious Contact – at first we experience glimpse’s of this, but with time, patience and a consistent practice of meditation we can develop a close conscious contact with our higher power. I believe that this is the advance part of this step.

“If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also.” Page 87

Group meditations provide a safe haven to discover meditation, to learn different techniques from experienced meditators and to relax into that deep group energy.

“There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer. “ page 87

I decided to become a Spiritual Explorer on my meditation path to learn about meditation and to begin to understand what my higher power was and my relationship to that “Creative Intelligence” as mentioned on page ?

“As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.” Page 87

Try doing mini-meditations throughout the day – breath deeply, listen to your breath for several minutes.

“It works - it really does.” Page 88

Randy F.
www.spiritstep.com