Others as a Conduit

Do you have a spiritual advisor of your faith?
How does this benefit your conscious contact?

To answer the question, I would have to declare a “faith” – as in, a specific, agreed upon manifestation of a Higher Power. But I have not done that. Most of the traits I sense as absolute in my Higher Power are beyond words, though many faiths have metaphors and mythologies that I find useful in guiding me spiritually.

When I first got sober, I made friends with many ministers in the Christian faith – Apostolic, Baptist, Methodist and Jehovah’s Witness. I never felt a pressure from any of them to convert or adopt their faith and denounce all others. I was accepted as someone who believed in a Divine Power, and they were glad to share with me. I learned much about the love and peace in the teachings of Jesus Christ through them.

I returned to the mythologies of the Native Americans as a very natural thing. My grandmother was born on an Apache reservation, and though she married outside of her tribe and I never learned if she had been raised in the ancient Apache God-myths, I have always been curious to learn. Most of my guidance in that way came from books, though recently, I met a man who descends from the same tribe and spent his summers with his grandfather on the reservation. We have expressed our desire to spend time together, and I hope to learn from him those things that I haven’t learned from books. What I have learned, though, are things that have strengthened my connection to the Earth as Mother. I cannot subsist merely on the ethereal; I require a firm grounding in the Earth. Early in recovery, I found myself, in contemplating the essence of my Higher Power, the absolute superfluity of a physical body if we were ultimately to return to our Source. It seemed a needless and cruel exercise! I found my grounding and my purpose when I returned to the Mother religions.

Ultimately, I’ve come around to Buddhism as the closest I have to an adopted faith. The nature of Buddhism seems to me to be more philosophical than religious, which is appealing to me. By the absence of dogma and the emphasis on personal discovery, I feel it helps me to be more tolerant of all people of faith. I have friends in recovery as well as contacts in academia who are practicing Buddhists. I don’t know that any of them would consider themselves my spiritual advisors, though I can say that I’ve gained much from each of them. The issue for me, someone who’s always liked firm answers, is that they seldom claim to have any!

And, of course, believing that we do belong here, that we do each have a purpose, and believing that my Higher Power very often uses others as a conduit, I must listen very closely, no matter who I might encounter. Any person who crosses my path might be my spiritual advisor. If I’m self-obsessing, I might miss the message!

Peace & Love,
Jody K

Counsel = Wisdom

May Question

Do you have a spiritual advisor of your faith? How does this benefit your conscious contact?

I have always been fortunate in having someone to guide me in my spiritual quest. In the beginning a very simple man from Santa Monica was there to constantly remind me of the truths discussed in the “Big Book” regarding spiritual matters.

I still recall how miserable I was feeling early on in my recovery; while doing my 4th step, I was trying not to dwell only on my wretched behaviors of the past. Yet there I was still full of self-contempt. I was at a point of desperation, ready to say forget it, when the phone rang.

It was my friend, calling just to check in, just to see how I was doing. I quickly explained that I was feeling totally depressed, worthless and hopeless. My friend stopped me as I was thoroughly condemning myself and began to ask me a series of questions.

He asked, David, have you found a loving God since joining the fellowship? I responded yes I suppose so. David, he proceeded; is God also a forgiving God? Again, I said yes. Then came the cruncher; he asked, David, Has God forgiven you? Once more I said I think so. He added then who are you….not to also forgive yourself?

I have come a long way since then. I now understand that grace is a gift freely given. It cannot be earned, stolen, or purchased. A favorite scripture of mine is, “Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Prov. 11:14). Or even stronger is Prov. 12:15 it says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who listens to counsel is wise.”

I have not gone through a period of time since my friend in Santa Monica provided such sage advice that I have not utilized the counsel of others. If there is a guiding principle that I have come to embrace it is this; no one person has a corner on absolute truth. I say this once again, no one person has a corner on absolute truth! Recognizing that this includes myself, inevitably brings me to the logical conclusion that I must always seek counsel or be found a fool.

It is good at times to reflect on the fact that our experiences and our personal knowledge are very limited. There is what little I think I know. There are the things I know I don’t know. And then there is a universe of things that I just do not know. In the vastness of time and space the amount of what I actually know is nothing more than a dot against the backdrop of a night sky.
What absolute foolish arrogance the man who refuses counsel must possess. I pray that I never again experience such a personal hell. I can’t. We can!

May Question

Do you have a spiritual advisor of your faith?
How does this benefit your conscious contact?

As a licensed spiritual practitioner there are requirements and a code for me to follow. See
http://www.agapelive.com/index.php?page=30 and http://www.ojima.us/collective/ojimapractitioner.html. I have been at Agape since 1996 and very active in that community until now. I am now a Global Heart practitioner because my ministry goes beyond the walls of any one church. See for more information on the Global Heart: http://www.religiousscience.org/ucrs_site/globalHart_vision/index.html

One requirement is that I am active in spiritual community doing service and being served by seeing my own practitioner. My spiritual advisor is my community. Many days it is my senior minister, it is often my prayer partner, and recently it is those I collaborate with in recovery doing great community works. I accept and embrace it all.

I am blessed exceedingly well that I am in recovery and have a spiritual New Thought spiritual community http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Thought. The love I have for both recovery and spirituality and the natural synergy I find in both has changed my life. It is why I am still in recovery.

My spiritual advisors have supported me in prayer, in private sessions, in workshops, in friendship and creative collaborations. When these advisors are also in recovery it adds a sweet dimension of fellowship and good will that inspires and encourages.

In my daily walk of recovery and spirituality my two communities keep me mindful and grateful that I can choose to begin again at any moment and claim greater good for me, for you, for the planet. So I do.
Much love, Gail www.conscious-contact.com and www.MySpace.com/SpiritualPractice

All I have to do is ask...

"All of us, without exception, pass through times when we can pray only with the greatest exertion of will."

I have developed, over the course of my recovery, a way that a friend of mine describes as "walking in prayer." There are shades of it in the methods and instruction of many different religions, and to me, it's a simple alternating current (to borrow the electricity analogy from David below) whereby I am in a constant back and forth with my Higher Power. I have had long stretches of time where I felt peace and harmony following this way.

But I am human, and unlike the perfection of the Universe, I can step out of synch, lose that contact and have to exert my will in order to find the rhythm again. I don't always know at first that this has happened. I don't always know that I must take action to remedy this out-of-sorts feeling. Like a willful child, I can often misuse my will and stomp my feet, demand that my Higher Power, not me, adjust. Oh, what an awful feeling!

The first question that I ask when a sponsee shares troubles with me is, "Did you pray on it?" I have been blessed that those around me have tossed that same question back at me. Beyond the defensive, "Of course I have!" (I always consciously pray for others), I many times must admit that my prayers have strayed from asking for God's will for me. They have strayed from the humble asking and accepting of what I've recognized, for my own perceived good or ill, always to be right for me to the expecting and demanding of what I want, regardless of my motives. Then is the time to take a look at those things: am I so busy moving along that I have begun to anticipate the next wonderful thing, angry and frustrated when it's not happening the way I choose for it to happen? Am I misinterpreting my egotistical yearnings, pushing beyond human limits, and telling myself that "I am responsible for the effort," no matter what the Universe is trying to tell me? -- and then being resentful when I fail?

Life is incredibly good for me these days, both in my individual life and in the lives of many around me. Tonight, I have the privilege and the honor to present some awards to folks who have touched not only my life, but the lives of many, many people over the years. I found myself stressing at one point about giving these speeches, and I put off until the last moment preparing for them. I'm not quite sure when it occurred, but it ceased being about them and started to be about me and how I would be viewed in my role as presenter. I had a light bulb moment where I realized this, and it took a certain kind of surrender, a readjustment in my own steps, to get me back to that place of harmony. The funny thing is this: all I had to do was ask! Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Peace & Love,
Jody K.

Right Use Of The Will

"All of us, without exception, pass through times when we can pray only with the greatest exertion of will."

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 105

All of us, without exception. What can you tell others that will help them get back on the track with prayer and meditation when they become complacent? How does one muster up that exertion of will?
-----------------
If you get an on-line copy of the Big Book and The 12 &12, you can search on the words "right use of will" or something to that affect to see what these texts have to say. It has always comforted and encouraged me to know that when I am applying my will to work the program it is a form of being "self supporting through my own contributions".

The right use of the will comes when we perform what may appear to be difficult in the steps or any program of recovery to bring about actions and results that move us away from using or doing behaviors that are so painful that using becomes viable in our minds.

When new at prayer/meditation, during those first early attempts to pray or meditate, gently forge ahead because you are trying to create a new habit. Psycologist say it takes 21 days to develop a new habit, so hang in there and know that you are creating a new groove in your brain and in your behavior.

I always identify the benefits of prayer/meditation or of any step I am working on to encourage me and keep me focused. The Big Book is loaded with these benefits.

The promises have come true for me. I would no more go without prayer/meditation than I would without air or sunshine. Spiritual practice has given me an unshakable foundation for life. When I feel off track, I gently ask the God of my own understanding to lead me back in a way that fits my life right now. The answer shows up as new prayer or meditation, service work, a new class or workshop or new prayer partner - something that inspires me to get connected and in conscious contact. Feel free to send an email if you need support.
Gail
http://www.conscious-contact.com
http://www.myspace.com/spiritualpractice

All of us, without exception. What can you tell others that will help them get back on the track with prayer and meditation when they become complacent? How does one muster up that exertion of will?

Plugging In

The simplest of prayers is often the most effective. I still recall the moment when, with drink in hand I lifted up the most sincere prayer I had ever said; it was simply “God, please help me.” I have not had another drink or other mind altering substance since. Though I had no idea what was ahead of me, those few words must have been mighty powerful.

Length and complication are never necessary with prayer. We need only remember that what we are doing is speaking from the heart to our greatest friend and ally. In this busy world it is far too easy to forget the spiritual aspect of our recovery. In the first few years of my own recovery remembering to pray and be silent awaiting an answer was completely foreign; I had never before done such a thing, developing a new way of life requires diligent work and sometimes a little helper to just remind us of what we need in order to live in peace and harmony.

• Place a small note to yourself on the bathroom mirror, in your car, and on your nightstand to remind you. Mine use to say, “Remember to pray dummy.”


• Like others I become rushed from time to time. In those times it suffices to simply acknowledge to the Creator that I love and Need the power of the Divine Presence. It is not difficult nor does it take much time to plug in a lamp.


• It is rarely difficult to pray for others who are in need and hurting. A prayer centered on the well-being of others is a tremendous connector to the Spirit of the Universe.


• When feeling so down, so filled with the pain that is inherent in our human experience I often find the most effective prayer is to sincerely ask for guidance and power with my prayer.

Just acknowledging within our hearts and minds that God is God is at times the best we can muster. Accepting that as being enough in the moment, is adequate to connect in times of trial and tribulation.

Just plug in. That is all that is needed. Eventually remembrance of the great joy one experiences in the presence of pure love will become the motivator; eventually the thought of not having closeness with the Divine Creator will create such a profound void that the thought of not plugging in will be impossible.

APRIL QUESTION BY DICK B. ~ "Exerting the will to pray."

"All of us, without exception, pass through times when we can pray only with the greatest exertion of will."

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 105

All of us, without exception. What can you tell others that will help them get back on the track with prayer and meditation when they become complacent? How does one muster up that exertion of will?

Answer: “Exerting the will to pray.”

Let’s start with several Bible verses which are guides: (1) The Book of James was the A.A. favorite and states: “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). A righteous man is one of His kids walking in fellowship with God—obeying His commandments. Fervent means “persistent” and “keep at it.” “availeth much” means “such prayer works.” (2) James 1:22 states: “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving our yown selves.” (3) In John 14:13, Jesus promises, “And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name that will I do that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” (4) 1 John 5:14-15 assures: “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions we desired of him.” (5) 1 Thessalonians 5:17 states: “Pray without ceasing.” (6) Mark 16:17 begins: “And these signs shall follow them that believe.”

How do I “exert” myself in these directions? I have got free will. I can choose or decline. I am one who chooses to believe the Good Book—the above and lots more. I am one who believes that, if I am walking in fellowship with my Heavenly Father, and if I ask for something in accordance with His will (such as healing), and if I persist in believing prayer according to His will, and if I ask in the name of His son Jesus Christ, and if I believe that God will make good on His Word, I will find the answers. God will determine what should or should not be done. I look to Him for the answers. I can sit on my tail and wish, or I can fervently get off my tail and start studying the Word, asking God for guidance, giving thanks to Him and praying in the name of His son, and believing that if I ask and walk and do according to His will, He lovingly takes care of my needs. He is my sufficiency. No exertion, just action and believing. And when the times are tough, it may take the help and prayers of other believers to whom I address requests for prayers and help. James 5:14 suggests: “Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.” These are some solid biblical precepts that I find were the assured challenges to which early AAs responded and I try to respond.

God Bless,
Dick B.
dickb@dickb.com
The Conversion of Bill W.
Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous History

MARCH QUESTION by Gail DeWitt

On pages 85 & 86 of the Big Book it says "We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions." It also says on page 87 "Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

How have you combined these definite suggestions with making use of what religious people offer?
----------

I became very restless at 15 years of recovery. I attended an Attitude Adjustment meeting every morning and while I loved the camaraderie of the fellowship I also know fellowship is not the program of recovery. That restlessness was a soul call for me to wake up to something larger. I picked a sponsor that also attended the early morning meeting. She had 14 years more recovery than me and was at least 20 years older - and wiser. I began sharing with her my restlessness and how I wanted to address it. I told her that during a meditation I saw myself sitting among thousands of people in a room where there was great diversity, fabulous spiritual music and warmth and welcome and a powerful message. I wanted to find that community. I tried one local spiritual center, took a course and loved it. The course was called "Foundations" and I took it at the Redondo Beach Church of Religious Science.

When I spoke to the minister about how I enjoyed the course content,but felt something was missing, he asked me to describe what I wanted. I told him my vision of a community from meditations and he said, "I am sending you to Agape International Spiritual Center." That was in 1996 and I have been there since.

I wanted to find a spiritual community while being active in meetings because my soul knew it was the next evolutionary step in my recovery. When I walked into Agape my soul recognized the place. I signed up for classes there (re-did the Foundations class) and without missing a beat or a class ever, completed the four year process to become a licensed spiritual practitioner. I am a woman of prayer and as a practitioner I know the truth of who you are in spirit no matter what your human condition looks like. I hold the high watch for us.

New Thought principles are very similar to AA principles. Some research by ministers and practitioners reveals that Bill W and Ernest Holmes, the founder of Science of Mind knew each other and spent time together when creating the programs I so love today.

The rooms of New Thought churches are full of 12-steppers. The deeper my training the more I could see that natural blend. After sponsoring me for over 2 years my sponsor revealed that she was a New Thought minister of 35 years. She only mentioned it because I asked her what she thought of my becoming a practitioner. Sh had been quietly waiting for me to decided but never influenced me in any way with her story.
When I told her I was definitely getting licensed and asked what she thought, she laughed and said I was a natural and then told me she was retiring from being a minister and my sponsor! We continued to co-sponsor each other for 12 years.

New Thought churches have Freedom Path meetings. I help churches set these meetings up. The meetings are for those in recovery,their families and friends and based on affirmative prayer, meditation and recovery. The meetings are run my practitioners and anyone can attend. There is shared group time, with a speaker, then a split off into smaller circles with a practitioner assigned to each group who takes prayer request from their circle. These meetings have a different flavor in each church and are a safe nurturing place to hear an inspirational speaker, meditate and get prayer for whatever is on your heart. I love this healing work. Many people come to me for private sessions from Freedom Path meetings, many of them are ministers.

Conscious Contact is a blend of my prayer and meditation work, AA and community service work and 12 Step recovery. There is a wonderful synergy and I support anyone who needs help in recovery to find their spiritual path. Why? I believe you cannot sustain quality long-term recovery without it.

I pray for 50 to 75 people a day. I work for the World Ministry of Prayer 800-421-9600. It is available 27, 7, 365 for over 80 years for people all over the world. I am honored to be there. I plan to write a book on what my heart has learned there.

I am still clean and sober in a way that is highly fulfilling because I honored my soul call that looked like restlessness at meetings. I deepened my prayer and meditation work with classes and spiritual community and allowed spirit to create Conscious Contact and use me to deliver it. I feel well used and have never been happier in my life.

Blessing on your spiritual path, Gail www.conscious-contact.com

The March Question by Dick B.

On pages 85 & 86 of the Big Book it says "We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions." It also says on page 87 "Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

How have you combined these definite suggestions with making use of what religious people offer?


Thank you for this particular suggestion because it points up several factors important not only to sobriety, but also to a relationship and fellowship with the Creator. Moreover, it is not pointed at any particular religious denomination in that it suggests contacting one’s rabbi, minister, and priest for helpful suggestions and books. It also states “Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.” Actually, Bill was trying to cover a multitude of approaches in a broad way. In his own case, Bill did spend lots of time with the Episcopalian priest, Dr. Samuel M. Shoemaker, Jr. He later talked a good deal to Father Ed Dowling, S.J. And Bill invited both of these men to speak to AAs at their International Convention. Remarks can be found in A.A. Comes of Age. In addition, Bill was in touch with Father John C. Ford, S.J. and with Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen. The situation was much different for Dr. Bob (and for me). Bob had had extensive and excellent training in the Bible, prayer, Quiet Hour, conversion, and Christian principles and practices when he was a youngster in St. Johnsbury, Vermont. That is what our new title Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous is about. Also our new website http://DrBob.info. Also the new Dr. Bob Core Library just established in the Smith family’s North Congregational Church in St. Johnsbury, Vermont. Having said that, it is equally important to note Dr. Bob’s involvement in the Christian Endeavor Society of his church because most of the principles and practices transmitted to early A.A. by Dr. Bob very closely resemble those in his Christian Endeavor Fellowship. The emphasis was on fellowship and not on church or ministers by the time Dr. Bob set up shop in Akron. For all of his sober life, Dr. Bob was involved in church—Congregational, Episcopal, Presbyterian (See Dr. Bob and His Library). But his son Smitty told me that Dr. Bob didn’t care much for “sky pilots” (preachers) and was more interested in the “message” (the Good Book) than the “messenger.” Accordingly, his first religious association in adult life in Akron was focused on the Christian Fellowship to which he was introduced in the Oxford Group. But it was not Oxford Group. It didn’t have a church. It didn’t have a minister. And what it did have was the very backdrop that Dr. Bob had acquired as a youngster in Vermont. This fellowship was described as holding “old fashioned prayer meetings” or “old fashioned revival meetings.” See DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers and my new title Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous. As in the Christian Endeavor Society of Dr. Bob’s youth, the following were stressed: 1) Confession of Jesus Christ. 2) Prayer meetings. 3) Bible study meetings. 4) Quiet Hour. 5) The reading of religious literature. In other words, the emphasis was on salvation and growth, not merely conversion alone; and the Oxford Group did not hold with conversion at all. Consequently, early AAs were introduced to Christ in the hospital. They were introduced to fellowship in the homes in which they lived. They were introduced to prayer at the Quiet Times Anne Smith held for AAs and their families each morning. They were introduced to Bible study because the Bible was read frequently, and they were urged to study the Book of James, 1 Corinthians 13, and Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). When he was asked a question about the program, Dr. Bob would usually ask, “What does it say in the Good Book.” The pioneers held individual Quiet Times and also group quiet times where Scripture was read, prayers followed, asking guidance followed that, and then they would discuss either a Bible subject or something from Anne Smith’s Journal which she shared with them. All were led to accept Jesus Christ as their Saviour in a ceremony with two or three others, much in the form of James 5:16. Even more significant in terms of the basic question: Dr. Bob widely distributed a variety of books on prayer, the Bible, the life of Jesus Christ, Quiet Time, and Christian living. He and they made use of a number of devotionals such as the Upper Room, The Runner’s Bible, My Utmost for His Highest, The Greatest Thing in the World, Abundant Living, Soul’s Sincere Desires, The Imitation of Christ, As a Man Thinketh, The Meaning of Prayer, and Daily Strength for Daily Needs. The bottom line is that those who really tried achieved a documented 75% to 93% rate of cures. Now what about my experience? First, I had to get through the seizures, the shakes, and the mental confusion. Second, I dug into A.A. as deeply as I could. Third, before long, I tired of hearing meaningless talk about a “higher power” and “spirituality” and criticism of those who read the Bible. I tired of hearing from my sponsor that people who read the Bible got drunk. And fortunately, I turned to the Bible and a Bible fellowship as part and parcel of my recovery program. I studied and learned the Big Book, the Twelve Steps, and how to sponsor. And then applied the principles among the many men I sponsored in A.A. They learned the Big Book. They “took” the Twelve Steps and learned what it meant to “practice” the last three. They were led into active fellowship participation. And they were led to Christ, to the Bible, and to Bible fellowship and study. What of prayer? The Bible is filled with instructions on how to pray, to whom to pray, for what one can pray, and the importance of repentance, obedience, and believing. It is also clear on the importance of renewing one’s mind to what God reveals to you and what He revealed in His word and through His son. God promises, for example, in Psalm 103 to heal all our diseases, forgive all our iniquities, redeem our lives from destruction and shower us with loving kindness and tender mercies. If He promises it, and if we are obedient to His commandments, we can expect to have the promise fulfilled. And that probably covers my understanding and practice of the principle you offered for discussion.

God Bless, Dick B.
Got the new book? The Conversion of Bill W.
Have you seen our new web site? Dr. Bob and Alcoholics Anonymous

Belonging - healing from spiritual shame

A Sense of belonging
Prayer and Meditation in Action

When I first started praying every day, and then began to learn to include meditation into my prayer life, as a disciplined aspect of my relationship with God, this was a very private area of my life for some time. I thought I was shy and insecure about prayer and I had a lot of fear of being made fun of when it came to my spiritual life, hopes, dreams and beliefs. It took several years for me to learn that I needed to recover from spiritual abuse that had resulted in my deep soul shame.

I experience this sense of belonging today, on a regular basis, but that was not always the case. The gift of 'having a sense of belonging' results from regular prayer and meditation in my life. I would like to share the one experience that began my soul's healing, as it related to prayer and belonging. This came from the efforts of another; my shame and resentments were so deep that I could not reach out to 'connect' spiritually with anyone. It was one special day, while in treatment with 6 years sober, and through the prayers of another that brought me this gift.
I was in my room trying to write my 'assignment' that was the beginning of my treatment program, and I sat at the end of my bed with a blank mind, paper and pen. My roommate walked in, I can not recall her name today or how long she had been sober, but she has never been forgotten by me, as her gift changed the course of my recovery and my life. She asked me what I was doing and after telling her my assignment to write and that I had no thoughts to make note of, she asked me if I had talked to God about it through prayer. I laughed, that 'you have got to be kidding me' kind of laugh, as I would not be in treatment 6 years sober if I could pray.

I told her no I had not, and the next thing she did was to ask me, instead of walking out of the room, "Would you like for me to pray for you?" I said yes, assuming she would walk away leaving me with the notion that I would be prayed for, as this was what I was accustomed too.

That is not what she did. She knelt down in front of me and held my hands and closed her eyes as she began to pray for me. I was shocked that someone I hardly knew was taking the time to stop and pray with me. I do not recall what she said, but I remember those tears as they rolled down my face, recognizing the lack of shame and care in her voice as she prayed to God for my needs. I grieved, accepting the loving offer of prayer she made for me, a stranger. I had never experienced that gift of love from a stranger before, and as she finished praying she got up and walked out of the room, leaving me to write my assignment. And, I was able to do so.

Her love, time and faith encouraged me and broke through my exterior wall of protection and spiritual shame, giving me a sense of belonging for the first time since my best friend had died and I knew I was no longer alone, especially in the spiritual world. I knew that my life depended on a spiritual way of life, but unrealistic idea's, grief and pain had filled my heart with resentments, blocking my soul from the sunlight of the spirit. Her prayer was like opening a dam that had kept me in spiritual prison, letting in fresh air and light.

I have never forgotten her example of action, (even after 20 years) and the effects of spiritual abuse and shame has healed allowing me to 'come out of the spiritual closet.' No longer concerned so much with what others think of me, spiritually. I have grown, not forgetting my former spiritual isolation, shame, fear, anger and loneliness and with her example of action and faith, I became willing to share prayer with others and to pray, talk to God spontaneously, no longer believing only memorized prayers are worthy of His attention.

Today, I am willing to pray for and with others, and have found this to be the action and power that caused the walls of difference, prejudice and shame to crumble, freeing me to experience shared unity that asks nothing in return. Sharing prayer with others is the action that gives me this gift of belonging and has freed me from spiritual isolation to be one in the body of God's family.

With gratitude and in His service
Carol Ann Preston, Chaplain

www.roomforhealing.com
www.take12radio.com