It’s a little before 9:00 PM on Friday the 13th and I am enjoying listening to the wind as I sit typing a few thoughts on Prayer and Meditation. Tonight I am participating in a “lock-in” @ my church with 19 adolescents and 5 other adults as a part of our J2A ( journey to adulthood ) program.
Right now there are two groups in other areas of the church and I am really enjoying a little quiet time and feel very close to my higher power a.k.a. - God…
Since embarking on this journey called “recovery” or “sobriety” my life has completely changed. One of the greatest blessings I have received is being part of a community. Giving back to others makes me feel like I am doing God’s work. Sometimes it is very difficult, other times it happens naturally.
For the past couple of weeks I have been spending 15 minutes in the early AM meditating. I brew my coffee, read through my daily meditations and then read Steps 10 + 11 out of the Big Book up to the point where is says, “ we usually conclude the of meditation with a prayer”…
While I am meditating I focus on my breathing. The lights are out and I have a candle lit. I also hold my pocket rosary in my hand and repeat some affirming phrases or a prayer. One of the results of this practice; after only a short time, is that I feel more deeply connected to the energy of the universe. My fears are generally reduced and my thoughts aren’t as jumbled. I hope to continue this practice and extend the period of time gradually and see where it leads.
Prayers seem to pop up all around me. It’s amazing if I am conscious of my surroundings how many prayers there are out there. The bible and other inspirational readings are very present in my daily travels. Some of this has to do with me going to meetings that are held in churches and some of it has to do with my daily interaction with others in recovery.
Practice, practice, practice, keeping an open mind, non-judgment of others and myself unclog the channel to this immense power that I call God. What a gift life is… and I am certain there is so much more to come beyond this physical plane that cannot be defined.
I am now going to go do a little reading and see what is in store for the rest of the night.
John R.~
11.15.2009
11.02.2009
Step Eleven
“Sought through Prayer and Meditation to improve OUR conscious contact”
This is a tall order. I just spent the last fifteen minutes or so sitting quietly in my home office this AM, attempting to meditate. The lights were out and it is 6:15AM…the only light in the room was a single candle. Pretty spiritual huh? This depends. Monday’s can be a little daunting; I have a job ( thank you Father ) and it can be quite stressful.
The thoughts that ran through my head during this “meditation” were mainly positive. I struggle with choosing what to focus on. Somehow I have attached my job to who I am. We are so much more than what we do.
OUR conscious contact… ultimately the “good” thoughts or practices I have learned since joining the program originated from somewhere other than me. Why did I choose to give this thing a shot? I don’t know. Why did I listen to “crazy” people and take their suggestions? I sensed there was and is something working amongst US.
Three, Seven and Eleven are the “spiritual steps” or so I’ve been told. There are so many connected dots that have lead me to this point in my life. Why must I insist that I am going to screw the whole thing up? That would take so much more work than simply surrendering to God’s Will for me…
I do believe God wants me to have a full life with lots of interaction with others. When Gwen asked me to write about Step 11 I was excited and glad that I was being pushed into action. God pushes me everyday. A few weeks ago I went on a retreat; one of the practices we have is an Adoration Room. Adoration is set up as an intense stretch of time where a symbol is placed in a monstrance on an altar and each retreatant is encouraged to spend 15 minutes in quiet, alone in this room. The idea is that at no time is this symbol left alone.
When I am struggling with negative thoughts and or behaviors I feel alone. When I am angry I feel alone. When self-pity rears its ugly head, I am alone. Fear wants me alone. This is one nasty disease; it wants me dead and alone. Please join us as we walk our daily journey seeking knowledge of HIS WILL for US.
John R.~
This is a tall order. I just spent the last fifteen minutes or so sitting quietly in my home office this AM, attempting to meditate. The lights were out and it is 6:15AM…the only light in the room was a single candle. Pretty spiritual huh? This depends. Monday’s can be a little daunting; I have a job ( thank you Father ) and it can be quite stressful.
The thoughts that ran through my head during this “meditation” were mainly positive. I struggle with choosing what to focus on. Somehow I have attached my job to who I am. We are so much more than what we do.
OUR conscious contact… ultimately the “good” thoughts or practices I have learned since joining the program originated from somewhere other than me. Why did I choose to give this thing a shot? I don’t know. Why did I listen to “crazy” people and take their suggestions? I sensed there was and is something working amongst US.
Three, Seven and Eleven are the “spiritual steps” or so I’ve been told. There are so many connected dots that have lead me to this point in my life. Why must I insist that I am going to screw the whole thing up? That would take so much more work than simply surrendering to God’s Will for me…
I do believe God wants me to have a full life with lots of interaction with others. When Gwen asked me to write about Step 11 I was excited and glad that I was being pushed into action. God pushes me everyday. A few weeks ago I went on a retreat; one of the practices we have is an Adoration Room. Adoration is set up as an intense stretch of time where a symbol is placed in a monstrance on an altar and each retreatant is encouraged to spend 15 minutes in quiet, alone in this room. The idea is that at no time is this symbol left alone.
When I am struggling with negative thoughts and or behaviors I feel alone. When I am angry I feel alone. When self-pity rears its ugly head, I am alone. Fear wants me alone. This is one nasty disease; it wants me dead and alone. Please join us as we walk our daily journey seeking knowledge of HIS WILL for US.
John R.~
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