Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meditation. Show all posts

12.23.2012

Prayer of Protection - Using Meditation as a Method of 12th Step Service

The light of God surrounds me;
The love of God enfolds me;
The power of God protects me;
The presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is! 

by James Dillet Freeman

This prayer was written by Freeman, for soldiers during World War II. The "Prayer for Protection" was also carried to the moon in 1969 by Apollo astronaut, Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin who took the "Prayer for Protection" along on the first manned moon landing.

This is one of my favorite prayers to use for affirmations in meditation. I use each line as an affirmation and then change the pronoun at the of each line to "you," "them," or "us" depending who I am sending the intention towards.

example: "The light of God surrounds us."

Try this yourself in a mediation. Relax and begin your meditation as you usually do. Once quiet and centered, take the prayer one line as a time. Visualize the action of each line for yourself, or anyone else you wish to connect with through these intentions.

Remember, we can be of tremendous benefit to others by sending intentions during meditation. But, be careful to offer only general intentions such as these. We can not know what our Higher Powers will is for anyone so sending specific intentions for what we think another needs is not beneficial. But, by sending this open ended type of intentional energy we contribute to the highest good of Higher Powers purpose. 

Please let us know how this works for you!

Together in Meditation

Randy F.
www.spiritstep.com
www.11thStepMeditation.org

7.31.2012

Yoga - Meditation - Step 11

Many people think of yoga as stretching for fitness.  What is really on the mat is preparation for meditation.  It is working the body and mind to better settle into quiet.  This quiet time helps to improve our conscious contact with a Higher Power.

No matter if your taking yoga class at a studio or practicing in the home allow yourself that extra time when finished to sit quietly afterwards.  If coming from a yoga studio try to keep talking to a minimum or none until you can get to your meditation.  You may need to quietly leave class when finished and find your quiet space either in your home or a special space outside.  Some teachers leave time for a deep meditation period after class and that may be all you need.

Focus on the breath especially when distracted.  Distraction is normal in meditation.  Simply bring your concentration back to your breath.  Breathe deeply all the way down to the belly, expanding it like your belly is a balloon on your inhalations.  Keep your mouth closed and breath through the nose only. 

Most importantly do not judge your practice. If you have just started or have been doing this for years it is all good.  One baby step at a time.  One inhalation at a time.  One experience at a time.  Just keep practicing one day at a time.

6.26.2012

Meditation for 12 Step - Cleaning the House

So during my yoga teacher training we had to write meditations for the beginning of our classes.  It was suggested since I will be teaching the Yoga of Recovery to write a recovery based meditation.  I have to say I really enjoy this process.  What is most fun is hearing what people visualized when doing the meditation. 

So I won't write word for word what I did.  But I will give you something to visualize when meditating. 



Picture a set of 12 steps.  What do they look like?  Are they outside?  inside?  wood?  stone?  carpeted?  Get a good visual of your steps.

Notice there are obstacles on your steps.  As you slowly walk up your stairs clean up your stairs so you can walk through.

Once on your twelfth step look back down and notice this path you have made.  Notice how it feels.  Will you have to unload and go back down to clean up more? 

That is a shortened version and a general idea of the visual.  I was more specific and had people stop at specific Steps and related specific obstacles to pick up (character defects, etc.)

So what did people see? 

Types of steps - clouds, wood on a beach, wide with a red carpet, marble etc.
Obstacles - toys, dirty socks, assorted clutter etc.
Looking back down - still much to clean up but a path was made

Using these visuals can help in many ways.  It can help give us the confidence to work the Steps and clean up our stairs.  It lets us know it is a process.  We may not get our stairs fully clean the first time around but a path is made and that is but a beginning.  It is now easier to go back down the stairs and clean more, clearing our path a little more each time.  We can connect with our feelings in this process.  Although many don't like the feelings it may bring up which can help us dig even deeper. 

So WHY would we do any exercise like this?  Ultimately to let in the sunlight of the spirit.  To get closer to God, your Higher Power, deepen your spiritual connection.  It does not matter how you word it, clean house so there is nothing between you and spirit.  Then we can give back to others.  Our cups are full and we have something to give.  To keep our cups full so we are not drained "We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out."

Yours in service,
Gwen R~

6.16.2012

An IOCC Reader Shares His Experience Strength and Hope on Step 11

I would love to have a conversation with God, to sit close and hear
actual words being spoken by my Higher Power, especially as S/He
clearly explains the perfect direction for my life. If that’s not
possible, could I have a fresh email from my Higher Power sitting in
my inbox each morning? Isn’t that what step 11 is all about, finding
the knowledge of God’s will for us?

I had heard of a Step Eleven meeting at a nearby town. Twenty minutes
of mediation and 40 minutes of sharing was the weekly agenda. I went
with expectations for I was struggling with depression and fear. I was
tired of coping and had a deep hope that someone or some God could
alleviate my pain. I wanted a deeper connection with God, often
frustrated that I could go through the day without a thought of God. I
had attempted mediation in the past, trying to still my mind, to quiet
the endless stream of thoughts that poured down those well worn
groves. Those attempts always ended in frustration, the noise of my
thoughts getting louder as I attempted to hush them. Thoughts that
made breathe difficult. I could never repeat my experiences in group
meditation where I had long moments of peacefulness. But on my own?
Nada. The shitty committee moves in and throws a party.

So I found that meeting, sat in the circle among welcoming faces, and
enjoyed the next twenty minutes of quiet. Listening to the swish of
breathe, small sounds of people adjusting their positions, my breathe
becoming one with theirs. It was peaceful, serene, and I was not
alone. Then the sharing started and I listened as others shared of
their frustrations and successes with meditation. When I shared, it was
of my desire for a deep connection with my Higher Power, for direction
in my life. I must have alarmed the next speaker, for he softly warned
me that, perhaps, my expectations were too high. I reacted in old
ways, feeling scolded and unloved. The color of the meeting changed,
became cold and unwelcoming. Old fears welled up, precipitating into
anger. I sat quietly, waited for the meeting was over so I could put
my coffee cup away in token service, then exiting with tears revealing
my frustrations and self-pity.

I walked a long time till I found a spot to sit and ponder; trying to
understand what was the purpose of mediation. I tried to look at my
part but couldn’t, still resentful of others. I found the Grapevine
booklet “The Best of Bill” in my pocket and opened it up to the essay
on Love. I read:

“Suddenly I realized what the matter was. My basic flaw had always
been dependence - almost absolute dependence - on people or
circumstance to supply me with prestige, security, and the like.
Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and
specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my
depression.”

Then I could see my part. I wanted that damn magic wand again, my
Higher Power’s wand that would make my problems go away, that would
arrange my life in perfect order. Hmmmm, perhaps sloth comes to mind,
laziness, not wanting to do the work, an easy out. Reminds me of
drinking.

I understand there will not be a conversation with my Higher Power to
map out my life or even just today. My journey will be like that of
others, the path to be discovered as I travel through the day, while
being unable to avoid the painful episodes that life’s circumstances
bring. And what is God’s will for me? Just to be helpful to the person
in front of me, not expecting or demanding anything in return. To
trust.

Submitted by an IOCC reader...

4.07.2012

Self Examination, Meditation, and Prayer

"There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer.  Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.  But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life."  Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 98

This passage is very powerful to me.  I have a BIG arrow pointing to it in my Step book and many works highlighted.  I think today the word that is speaking to me is "unshakable."  Lets face it, like most people, I have been shaken enough in my life time, so to find something unshakable = GOOD. 

For me, the first part is always the willingness.  I ask myself,  am I willing to continuously practice self-examination?  Yes, I personally am.  I am a BIG lover of Step Ten.  I don't always do it perfectly but the practice is ingrained in me.  In the early years of my recovery I would call my sponsor going on and on about this or that.  Mostly everyday life stuff that would really rattle me.  She would listen briefly and then say "Gwen, go read Step 10 and call me back."  Oh I hated when I got to the words... "every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us." Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 90.  But by continuously being brought back to that line the self-examination became a way of life.

Am I willing to continuously practice meditation?  Yes, I personally am.  But now it was a question of HOW?  So in hindsight I can tell you I started doing this in the earliest days of my recovery unknowingly.  See I could not sleep in early recovery.  I was so used to the alcohol pass out I had no idea how to settle my mind and go to sleep without it.  There were many many nights I only dozed off here and there.  People in the rooms told me "no one ever died from lack of sleep."  My friends mother, not recovery related at all, gave me a meditation cassette.  I used it every night.  I wore that cassette OUT!  It was a guided meditation.  I just popped it in and laid in bed.  It was amazing how it worked. 

As I stayed sober this practice, every so slowly grew and grew.  I bought more guided meditations and bought many books.  I was open and tried new ways of getting the mind quiet.  Journals, letters to God (combo self exam and meditation,) walking, being alone in nature, breathing (what a concept.) 

Am I willing to continuously practice prayer?  Yes, I personally am.  Again I was doing this from my earliest days in recovery.  My prayers started out something like this... "God please help me stay sober for the next five minutes."  I clung to the lines I heard old timers say, "I never saw someone get drunk who HONESTLY got on his hands and knees and asked God to keep him sober."  I put a ton of faith in that from day one.  Guess what?  It worked.  Time and again, over and over, one day at a time, I stayed sober.  In my worst moments I would hit my knees and BEG God to keep me sober till I could get to that next meeting.  Slowly the begging was not necessary as the obsession to drink faded away.  But life continued and I learned to STAY sober I still needed Gods help.  Life was happening all around me and I had no clue how to deal with it.  I blindly asked God for acceptance of _____________, for willingness, to slow down, for help.  I used the Serenity Prayer, the Third Step prayer, the Seventh Step prayer, the Prayer of St. Francis.  People gave me prayer cards.  One I remember was Slow Me Down Lord.


It has taken many years to interweave these practices in my life.  Please don't think I am in any way on a kneeler every morning with lit candles then sitting for hours in a meditative pose.  I am a human being, soberly living in a high paced world.  I have days when I can do a very formal practice and days when it is done quickly.  The point is I am willing to continue building my unshakable foundation and it just gets stronger every day.

Are you willing?

Gwen R~

4.14.2011

Control Yourself

By Kevin Griffin

I’ve noticed a pattern lately to the questions I get asked about meditation. People want to know how they can avoid pain in their bodies; how they can stop their thoughts; how they can keep from falling asleep. The pattern I see in all these questions, and others, is the fundamental wish to control your experience. This is typical of addicts who used to try to control their experience with drugs and alcohol. When they come to meditation, they bring these same habits.

But that’s not what meditation is about, at least not mindfulness meditation.

Mindfulness meditation is, first of all, about seeing clearly what is happening in the present moment. When our bodies hurt, mindfulness suggests we try to bring our awareness to what that exactly feels like; when our thoughts are washing through our minds, mindfulness says, notice what thoughts you’re having and see what patterns emerge—there’s important information there; when we are falling asleep we have the opportunity to see what fatigue feels like—it’s a trigger for addiction, so it’s wise to see it clearly.

It’s natural that people want to avoid unpleasant experiences, and of course people hope to have something more than misery come out of their meditation time. Mindfulness meditation can certainly bring us to a calm and pleasurable place at times, but that’s not the core goal of mindfulness. The greater goal is the search for truth and freedom. When we set those goals up over the goal of pleasure and comfort, we are on a spiritual path.

This is what Step Three is all about.

It’s important, then, as we adopt a meditation practice in recovery that we continue to practice our program. If we apply the principles of the program to our meditation, we will show up, do our best, and turn the results over. Whatever challenges come up during our meditation, we will consider to be opportunities to learn. We will apply the tools of mindfulness, paying close attention to our experience and, especially, to our reaction to our experience. And we will accept the results.

If we trust in this process, we will find that the calm and peace, the joy we seek, will come more easily. But it doesn’t come by our forcing it or trying to control what happens.

It’s so interesting that people who work a serious program and are able to turn it over in many aspects of their lives, when they come to meditation all of a sudden want to take back control.

Doing our best and then letting go of the results is one of the biggest challenges in recovery; it’s an essential element of meditation.

http://www.kevingriffin.net
A Burning Desire
One Breath at a Time

3.29.2011

Carry the Vision

My favorite time of the day is between 5:00 and 6:00A.M.; it is usually very quiet and peaceful. Recently I've found myself wanting to write during these waking minutes. My meditation process is evolving. The Big Book mentions that “we become much more”… I love that. We are becoming much more, everyday I am without a drink or a drug I feel growth.

Sitting in my home office I am surrounded by images of family, symbols of faith, and words of encouragement. Breathing in and breathing out I practice remembering. Remembering how lucky I am; how grateful I am. My son asked me if I had any books on meditation the other night, boy do I! So many books, so many options on the how and how to… One I found and read recently suggested getting quiet, closing my eyes and focusing on the “Light of the Spirit” in my heart.

“Carry the vision” are three powerful words. To me the word “carry” indicates I am doing some sort of work. “The Vision” holds even greater weight, what is this vision? Everything that is “man-made” started with a vision or an idea. That blows me away; so much of my daily life is taken for granted; power, water, food, shelter, transportation…technology. Yet, if I am asked to write a few words on prayer+meditation I sometimes send a message to myself that it’s “too difficult”!

The quiet times during my day are precious. The wonderful sunshine inspires me to do more and more with my life. Taking deep breaths I feel the Spirit of life, simple focused thoughts allow me to live inward where I connect with GOD. A bird chirping, the gentle sounds of our chimes vibrate through me… all messages from the universe that all is going to be OK.

Sharing our experiences, spreading the message of recovery and stepping out of my comfort zone continue to bring me closer to GOD and others. I am deeply thankful for the gift of this sober life. May each and every one of you embrace each day and live it to the fullest.

John

3.22.2011

Light of the Spirit

Yesterday I had a series of thoughts and emotions well up while at church. My 14 year-old son has just joined the choir and this made me think of my father. Richard James Rebbeck passed away on December 26, 2007 and I miss him very much. My dad and mom both participated in our church choir for over 30 years. Being immersed in a spiritual family can be a powerful and moving experience. I felt GOD amongst the congregation.

Attending mass has been a vehicle that allows me to get closer to my Higher Power. The “routine” of the service can easily be compared to a meditation. Singing, reciting prayers and even silent group prayers are all mixed together in a wonderful spiritual event. I have never been a “bible thumper” but recently I've found myself attracted more and more to its stories and teachings. A longing is present within me; and at different time’s increases in intensity and importance.

My favorite time of the day is between 5:00 and 6:00A.M.; it is usually very quiet and peaceful. Recently I've found myself wanting to write during these waking minutes. My meditation process is always evolving. The Big Book mentions that “we become much more”… I love that. We are becoming much more, everyday I am without a drink or a drug I feel is growth.

Sitting in my home office I am surrounded by images of family, symbols of faith, and words of encouragement... This too is my “church”. Breathing in and breathing out I practice remembering. Remembering how lucky I am; how grateful I am. My son asked me if I had any books on meditation the other night, boy do I! So many books, so many options on the how and how to… One I found and read recently suggested getting quiet, closing my eyes and focusing on the “Light of the Spirit” in my heart.

This A.M. I feel that Spirit in my heart. I love being sober and open to growth. I would like to wish everyone a full heart today. May the Grace of God enter your lives and allow you to feel loved and to share that love with those around you… He is here amongst us.

3.10.2011

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

“Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.”

What comes before “then?” How can I/we accomplish this noble gesture?

In the past couple of weeks I have been in transition at work. It is amazing how “comfortable” we can get in our routines. Simply put, my job description has changed and I am no longer a “manager” and am now just a sales guy. If I look at just the facts, it really is a good situation. My boss and company have decided I was in the wrong position and allowed me to return to my “old” position with the same salary.

So, I am getting paid as if I am a manager; but do not have the headaches that go along with this job. That is a win from my chair; but… my emotions have taken me on a ride that I am much too familiar with. “What will everyone think?” “I am a failure” “John didn’t have what it took” No one but the almighty “I” generated this negative chatter.

The domino effect is one negative thought leads to another and the next thing I know is my confidence is gone; I am splashing in a swamp of self-pity, moping around like a little baby wondering why I feel like ka-ka.

Meetings, meetings, meetings. That part of my routine has not changed. I also call other folks in recovery, and they call me, just about everyday. My expectation is/was that I “should not be effected” all I need to do is “snap out of it” and stop being a “baby”. Sheesh, I am tired just writing this stuff down!

The plus side is, THIS TOO SHALL PASS, is very real. Lo and behold I kept picking up the phone and talking. I kept picking up sponsees and taking them, and myself, to meetings. I opened up the Big Book early in the AM, before jumping on the computer, before checking for text messages, first thing. Page 84 just after the Promises is one of my favorite sections of the book. It tells me “WHEN” these negative emotions crop up… not “IF”, so I guess WE all have this challenge in some way. It also mentions what our FUNCTION is… to “grow in effectiveness and understanding” man that is a tall order.

You want me to grow? Why? That sounds like work! I, ME, MYSELF the SELF-SEEKER mentioned in Step Three is the trap. I am the enemy of me… But AA and GOD have brought me to a place where I can LOVE me, and thus allow me to TURN MY THOUGHTS to others. Without help I am done. My THOUGHT LIFE can be scary, funny, stuck, blank, sputtering or even an annoying hum.

How does this relate to my prayer / meditative life? Reading Step Eleven in the Big Book is a way I meditate. Keeping my eyes and ears open when walking or driving is a way I practice meditation. Watching a sparrow flit through the air and adeptly navigate through the branches of a tree amazes me… how do they do that without crashing? They inherently KNOW what to do. To be in awe of a sunrise or sunset, to notice the bare beginnings of buds on trees, it generates an anticipation of GOD’s power that will soon be on display. To me meditation is very simple; thinking about GOD, prayer is thanking him for what I have, and for what has been removed. Just as the shoots of spring emerge from the cold dark soil, I too have and continue to emerge from the darkness of my disease and reach for the power of GOD’s love.

(To be continued)
by John R.

9.01.2010

A NEW YEAR

It's September, and it's my turn to contribute to IOCC. On the Jewish calender, we happen to be just eight days away from a new year. Rosh Hashanah (which this year begins at sunset on September 8, 2010) is the anniversary of Creation. It is a time for renewal and a time for taking stock.

In recovery, we are familiar with the major inventory of the Fourth Step and the continued "mini-inventory" of the Tenth Step. It is interesting that in the Big Book, the way it describes the Eleventh Step meditation is also as an inventory of what's to be done during the day ahead upon arising and of how the day was actually spent upon retiring.

In the days leading up to the New Year, we Jews have a custom of doing a yearly inventory.

When I look back at last year, I see a lot of changes. Notably, our family moved from Milwaukee, Wisconsin (where we had lived for six years) and relocated to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Soon after that, we were blessed with the birth of -- thank G-d -- our fourth child, a daughter named, Chaya Mushka (which literally means "the spice of life.") Professionally, the nature of my work has changed quite a bit and I am now more focussed on writing and speaking all over the world as opposed to staying in one place and building a community. On a very exciting note, my book entitled G-d of Our Understanding: Jewish Spirituality and Recovery from Addiction is due to be released next month. (I will, G-d willing, post more about the book later.)

All of these changes are blessings. Change is life. But change can be scary. And that's why we rely so much on G-d so that we may have the "courage to change." When we remember to let G-d do His thing, and we just focus on doing our thing, then change becomes much more fluid, much more peaceful. In other words, life's gonna change regardless. How I deal with change is all in my head.

Indeed, the Hebrew word Rosh Hashanah which literally means "Head of the Year" also means "Head of the Change" since the words for "year" and "change" in Hebrew are so closely related. This Rosh Hashanah, I ask G-d to help me have a "head of change" -- a head that is able to deal with the movement of life and not get entrenched in what makes me comfortable now or how I want things to be. Having a head of change also means being able to quickly let go of opinions that I fought so hard to hold on to. I ask G-d to give me the maturity to realize when my outlook has been wrong and to quickly, gracefully move way from old ideas and thoughts.

And I ask to be able to see what it is that I can change in the world around me. Although "fixing" has gotten us into so much trouble in the past, there's a whole lot that we can fix, too. I can be of use to others. I can make someone's life better. Not because I have the power to change things for other people but because G-d who has all power sometimes chooses me as His agent to bring help to a fellow human being.

May your new year be full of new things and may you enjoy every minute of it.


Rabbi Shais Taub
http://www.chasidicthought.com

8.09.2010

CREATE THE SPACE FOR VISIONING

There are many ways to go about doing our spiritual practices. All require the element of time. If my practice is yoga or self-mastery classes, I must take time, make time to show up. This is true of visioning. It is essential to create a space to experience a successful and satisfying time in our visioning practice. It is simple to do. I review my day to look for a natural pause in it or I can decide a time. The time of day often determines the physical space we are in. In morning we could be in the bedroom or garden, in the afternoon in the office or running errands, in the evening we could be in the den or the garage. Wherever we are at the time we decide to vision, the space should be quiet, private, and uninterrupted. We may need to ask people around us to not interrupt during this time. I have a small sign I hang on my doorknob at home or at work that says “IN SESSION”.

Once, I have set aside the time, place and feel confident that I can proceed uninterrupted in a reasonably quiet place, I can begin. Sit in a comfortable manner, have pen and paper handy (or your journal) and settle down. Set aside at least 15 minutes. Have the visioning questions close at hand.

What visioning questions? That’s next. Namaste’
Gail

5.10.2010

Asking for Help

I just read four different installments on Step 11 from my One Day At A Time/Al-Anon Daily Meditation book.

To this day I don't think I have attended an Al-Anon meeting, but I do cherish this book.

Some of the nuggets I was able to mine from these passages were:

  • The battle of concentration vs. stray thoughts...
  • The constant maintenance to weed our resentments and fear...
  • Being aware of the Great Power available to us...

Awareness is a tough one.

Being aware of my own thought patterns can be very difficult. I find it easy to "see" other peoples "issues"; yet I cannot seem to manage my own. I hate asking for help. Why? I guess it's ego combined with a little shame. So, how do I overcome this?

Practice, practice, practice. I need to ask for help EVERYDAY. Another cool line I was able to extract from the Al-Anon book was: " I will accept HIS help in EVERYTHING I do."

Why do I need to feel pain before I am motivated to do something? I love reading and meditating on different thoughts or concepts presented in readings. The Big Book, the Bible, motivational quotes etc.; there are SO MANY powerful words and sentences to choose from.

Just today I was feeling a little down. Monday blah? I don't know, so I decided to make a phone call to another "friend of Bill's". The simple act of calling another person, thinking of another person does wonders for my connection with GOD and man. All of a sudden I don't feel alone. A "spiritual prescription" that needs to taken everyday - as needed. Prayer to me is making a call to GOD. He is never busy and always listens.

Somehow in those quiet times (prayer + meditation) things become clearer. Seeking KNOWLEDGE and POWER... RECEIVE GUIDANCE for our decisions...

Lastly I had a strong message delivered in my readings tonight, in the form of a question:

"Ask myself whether I have been able to solve my problems without help?"

If I could do that they wouldn't be "problems" now would they?

I think I'll keep asking for help, one day at a time.

Peace,

JR

5.04.2010

Step 11 - Sought through Prayer and Meditation to IMPROVE our CONSCIOUS

That is a tall order. This April I celebrated my nineteenth sober anniversary, as I am writing this it's hard for me to fathom. In this moment (9:25PM a very pleasant 64 degrees - nice calm evening) writing a few thoughts about my life and experiences with meditation and prayer; I do feel close to my Higher Power.

I find myself seeking quiet time. On a typical weekday I'll get up around 5:00AM, start my coffee and wash any dishes in the sink. Since it's now May, the morning hours are filled with birds chirping and wonderful smells. Flowers, trees are bursting with a thousand shades of green. Walking the dog and doing dishes are a nice way to ease into the day.

From there I'll pour my first cup of Joe and gather my daily meditation books. I have five that I attempt to read everyday; one of the nicest things about where I am in my life is my patience for myself has grown. GOD has taught me again and again there is no hurry. AA has taught me
that nothing is set in stone.

On a really good morning I'll set aside 15 minutes for real eye closed meditation. My favorite scenario is to keep the lights off and light a few candles. For reading I use a solar powered desk lamp that somehow feels quieter. I read somewhere that the quietest part of the day is where the night meets the day. There is something there. I feel the same something @ meetings or when I am talking to another AA on the phone, or if I'm able to think about someone else and actually care about them.

Words very often fail me. I am so grateful to be sober and realize how lucky I am to be in this moment, enjoying the process of writing and reflecting on my ever growing experiences in seeking God's will for me. I know for sure his will is that I stay sober.

In my office I have a collection of crosses and crucifixes that I began collecting a few years ago. Do they make me feel holy, not really; but again there is something about them. There are so many different shapes and sizes, materials used places they have been gathered from... it's
like my re-charge zone. I feel safe in my home. I feel close to GOD and my family in my home. My wife taught me years ago that THIS IS WHAT MATTERS... friends and family.

I have so many books, prayers, beads, cards and I never seem to have enough. For thousands of years people have been praying and seeking. Why? What is it that drives people for answers or guidance or strength? My mother has prayed for me for years. I pray for her and my sister as
well as those I resent, those who are sick or who are struggling to get sober or who are just plain out there.

Another huge gift in my life is my church. To be a part of a community that accepts everyone and allows everyone to be themselves is a rare situation for me; or perhaps I am accepting myself and therefore accept others? It doesn't really matter. A few years ago I took my dog for a walk and my pastor, ( who lives on our block ) stopped me and asked me if I'd be interested in helping out the church's youth group. Well I did and have just committed to staying on for a third year. To be connected to young people in a church setting is amazing. I feel GOD through them, I am getting to relive some of my struggles through them and feel honored to be entrusted to help guide them. More importantly just be there.

Maybe that's the real trick in life. Just be wherever I am. No more running, hiding, pretending... just be.

All the best,

John R.

1.09.2010

Keep Coming Back

By Kevin Griffin
www.kevingriffin.net

Renewal is built right into 12 Step programs, and it’s a foundational aspect of meditation. Every meeting ends with the admonition, “Keep coming back,” a reminder that the process of recovery isn’t about passing the finish line, but about living life “one day at a time.” Recovery isn’t about attaining some state of pure spiritual bliss, but of learning to face life’s challenges without running to a bottle, a drug, to food or sex or gambling.

Of course, the initial step of getting sober or abstinent is difficult. At that point, “keep coming back” might be all we have to hang on to. Maybe we’re nuts and it feels like we can’t handle it, but those simple words tell us that it’s going to get better. And it does. Our addiction is healed. When that happens, a lot of other great things will often follow: our relationships get better, our work life improves, our emotional state brightens. It all takes work of course, and often years of showing up, but once we’re clean and sober, we start seeing the improvement and that inspires us to keep going.

But life doesn’t stop. The First Noble Truth in Buddhism, the Truth of Suffering, says that life is difficult, that there are ongoing inner and outer struggles. A new year is often a time to confront some of these struggles. The holidays are often stressful and may trigger underlying addictions, so that when January 1st comes, we’re ready to renew our inner and outer spiritual work.

This is, of course, a cliché, the new diet or exercise regime, the New Year’s Resolution; and the rest of the cliché is that the resolution doesn’t last long. But if we are committed to a spiritual path, resolution and renewal of commitment is something that happens year round. And it’s not that we’ve “failed” when we have to renew our commitment, simply that the Truth of Suffering, which says that everything is impermanent and ultimately unsatisfactory, is operating.

The first step in renewal is honesty: I’m backsliding and I need to get it together. The second step is forgiveness: it’s natural that I backslide, so I don’t have to beat myself up, just get on with my renewal.

This past year I lost 17 pounds through a program of mindful eating. This morning I found that I’d gained 3 pounds over the holidays. Time for renewal. Before I lost the weight I rarely weighed myself, not wanting to get the bad news. But one of the things I learned in mindful eating is that I have to stay current with my weight or it slips away. I didn’t want to weigh myself today; I thought, “I’ll just wait till after the weekend when I can get my eating straightened out again.” But I did it anyway. Then I thought, “It’s natural that I gained weight over the holidays, and I know how to lose it, so I don’t have to worry or beat myself up.” At the same time, at the corners of my mind were the whispers, “You’re piling it on; you’ll never be able to lose that weight.” But I knew that voice, the voice of failure and self-hatred, and I put it aside.

After forgiveness comes the commitment: I’m going to renew my mindful eating program. So I reviewed in my mind some of the basics that I’ve used to limit my calorie intake without creating a binge/purge cycle.

Keep coming back doesn’t just work for addiction. It works for meditation, too. One of the most basic meditation instructions is “keep coming back to the breath.” On the moment-to-moment level, keep coming back is how you meditate: first with mindful honesty that the mind has wandered; then with forgiveness, because, after all, that’s just what my mind does; then, renewal, bringing my attention back to the sensations of breath again.

Keep coming back applies to my daily practice as well: I keep showing up on my meditation cushion each day, whether I feel like it or not, and whether it seems like it’s working or not.

Both meditation and recovery take longer than we want them to. Especially for an addict who wants instant gratification, the slow process of healing our lives and the gradual process of deepening our meditation practice just don’t seem to work. We can’t see the results quickly enough, so we don’t think anything is happening. But real change takes time. This is one of the reasons we keep track of how long we’ve been sober. We gain perspective over the years, both by watching our own progress, and especially by watching that of others in the program. They might not notice the incremental changes in themselves, but we do.

As I meditated this morning for the last time in 2009, I felt anxious and started worrying about the future. I have a new book coming out and lots of teaching planned, and I started obsessing about it all. Then I caught myself and thought, “What other perspective can I bring to this?” and I swung to an absolute, “It’s all empty, nothing really matters” view. That brought a feeling of sadness and negativity. I caught that and realized how unhelpful that was. So I asked myself, “What would be a Middle Way,” and I thought of appreciation. My life is wonderful. I have had incredible opportunities and success in my life; I have a wonderful family and home; my work life is very satisfying. Ahh. . . The renewal of sanity.

This is the most important ongoing process of renewal that I do, trying to keep myself from falling into negative mental and emotional states. All my other work, my program, my spiritual practice, mindful eating, my relationships, exercise, making music, and the rest, is really about maintaining emotional balance. Ultimately, if I’m not happy, what’s the point of any of it? When I feel myself going in a painful direction, usually anxiety or depression, I remind myself to “keep coming back,” first to the most basic thing: mindfulness of my present-moment emotional experience. This doesn’t mean trying to fix anything or do anything about it, just be present with it, trusting that mindfulness itself will begin the healing process. Once I’ve grounded myself in the present moment experience, I can begin to address the causes and conditions behind the current state. Is there something I’m doing or not doing that’s creating this negative state? Is there some skillful response I can bring, or do I just need to “rest in awareness” of the mood?

Staying in the present moment with all my experience is the most fundamental “coming back” that I can do. Life happens here and now. Ultimately my addiction was an attempt to run away from reality. So, my recovery means not just coming back to meetings, but coming back to life.

1.04.2010

What I Learned from Wolf

Read Wolf's post.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Wolf's post. My favorite line "The way that is best for them." This is Wolf's respond to the questions "How must one pray?" and "How must on meditate?" Although I love much of the formality religions bring to prayer and meditation, making the connection with the God of our understanding is what is truly important.

Things I was reminded of in this post...
1. "the more frequently I pray for guidance and to express gratitude, the more residual and steadfast the serenity. The more regularly I meditate, the deeper the serenity."

2. "Ideally, we should be praying frequently throughout our day and meditation 2-3 times a day."

3. "The rewards also include a wonderful transformation of our attitudes towards life and all things. In time there are less "problems" and more serenity."


Now that I have shared with you what I have learned/relearned let's talk about how I can make use of this in my life. One of my goals for 2010 is to judge myself less. When I read things that say "The way that is best for them" it alows me to let go of those preconcieved ideas of how things should look. I can use that statement as a daily affirmation to help me judge my prayer and meditation habits without judgement. My three reminders are just that. Reaffirmations of what I should be doing and why. The rewards are amazing yet I need constant reminders to push my prayer and meditation practices to deeper levels.

Thank you Wolf for the teaching us all the Rewards and Gifts of Prayer and Meditation!

12.13.2009

What I Learned from Randy F.

Read Randy's Post
Restore Me To Sanity

When I first came into the rooms of recovery I and read the words "restore me to sanity" I thought they were speaking about others. I was NOT insane! I mean really, I just needed to stop drinking. One day at a time I did not pick up a drink and around my third month of sobriety I began to really SEE the insanity of my life and more importantly my thinking.

A Power Greater Than Myself

I gladly picked up with the God of my understanding when entering sobriety. Of course the God of my understanding was from when my spiritual development dropped off at about age 6 or so. So that is what I knew. Picture book images of Jesus with lil animals and children all around. That was enough to get me started. I just needed something to believe in and I had that.

Came To Believe

Although I had the picture book image in my head of the God of my understanding I did not understand how that would work in my recovery. I had to take a leap of faith and trust in those who got sober before me. I took the suggestions and slowly came to believe how the God of my understanding would work to keep me sober.

Make Use Of What They Offer

In Randy's post I seem to focus in on his wording of FalseSelf and SpiritSelf. I learned from this a positive way to identify my thinking. It took me several years in sobriety practicing meditation techniques to learn the true depth of that FalseSelf. Randy says "There was much energy, or mud, caked around my behaviors, my old belief systems, and my thoughts patterns." This too was true for me. I may still have some mud! I am not willing to go on record as saying I am mud free as I have learned how these old patterns can show up randomly. The point is I know today I have a FalseSelf and have worked hard on the SpiritSelf that is dominately who I am today.

From Randy's post I am again reminded of the importance of a formal meditation practice even if for just three minutes a day. Having that sacred space and taking the time to be still is a loving action for my SpiritSelf. Randy said "Persevere with a little bit of effort each day begin your spiritual awakening." I have to take note of his working to use a "little bit of effort each day" because in this life I really need to make that effort. I need to be reminded regularly and that is exactly what Randy did for me.

Thank Randy F. for teaching us about the FalseSelf and the SpiritSelf and reminding to put in that effort!

Gwen R~
TwelveBeads.com

11.15.2009

Step Eleven - Part 2

It’s a little before 9:00 PM on Friday the 13th and I am enjoying listening to the wind as I sit typing a few thoughts on Prayer and Meditation. Tonight I am participating in a “lock-in” @ my church with 19 adolescents and 5 other adults as a part of our J2A ( journey to adulthood ) program.

Right now there are two groups in other areas of the church and I am really enjoying a little quiet time and feel very close to my higher power a.k.a. - God…

Since embarking on this journey called “recovery” or “sobriety” my life has completely changed. One of the greatest blessings I have received is being part of a community. Giving back to others makes me feel like I am doing God’s work. Sometimes it is very difficult, other times it happens naturally.

For the past couple of weeks I have been spending 15 minutes in the early AM meditating. I brew my coffee, read through my daily meditations and then read Steps 10 + 11 out of the Big Book up to the point where is says, “ we usually conclude the of meditation with a prayer”…

While I am meditating I focus on my breathing. The lights are out and I have a candle lit. I also hold my pocket rosary in my hand and repeat some affirming phrases or a prayer. One of the results of this practice; after only a short time, is that I feel more deeply connected to the energy of the universe. My fears are generally reduced and my thoughts aren’t as jumbled. I hope to continue this practice and extend the period of time gradually and see where it leads.

Prayers seem to pop up all around me. It’s amazing if I am conscious of my surroundings how many prayers there are out there. The bible and other inspirational readings are very present in my daily travels. Some of this has to do with me going to meetings that are held in churches and some of it has to do with my daily interaction with others in recovery.

Practice, practice, practice, keeping an open mind, non-judgment of others and myself unclog the channel to this immense power that I call God. What a gift life is… and I am certain there is so much more to come beyond this physical plane that cannot be defined.

I am now going to go do a little reading and see what is in store for the rest of the night.

John R.~

11.02.2009

Step Eleven

“Sought through Prayer and Meditation to improve OUR conscious contact”

This is a tall order. I just spent the last fifteen minutes or so sitting quietly in my home office this AM, attempting to meditate. The lights were out and it is 6:15AM…the only light in the room was a single candle. Pretty spiritual huh? This depends. Monday’s can be a little daunting; I have a job ( thank you Father ) and it can be quite stressful.
The thoughts that ran through my head during this “meditation” were mainly positive. I struggle with choosing what to focus on. Somehow I have attached my job to who I am. We are so much more than what we do.

OUR conscious contact… ultimately the “good” thoughts or practices I have learned since joining the program originated from somewhere other than me. Why did I choose to give this thing a shot? I don’t know. Why did I listen to “crazy” people and take their suggestions? I sensed there was and is something working amongst US.

Three, Seven and Eleven are the “spiritual steps” or so I’ve been told. There are so many connected dots that have lead me to this point in my life. Why must I insist that I am going to screw the whole thing up? That would take so much more work than simply surrendering to God’s Will for me…

I do believe God wants me to have a full life with lots of interaction with others. When Gwen asked me to write about Step 11 I was excited and glad that I was being pushed into action. God pushes me everyday. A few weeks ago I went on a retreat; one of the practices we have is an Adoration Room. Adoration is set up as an intense stretch of time where a symbol is placed in a monstrance on an altar and each retreatant is encouraged to spend 15 minutes in quiet, alone in this room. The idea is that at no time is this symbol left alone.

When I am struggling with negative thoughts and or behaviors I feel alone. When I am angry I feel alone. When self-pity rears its ugly head, I am alone. Fear wants me alone. This is one nasty disease; it wants me dead and alone. Please join us as we walk our daily journey seeking knowledge of HIS WILL for US.

John R.~

9.16.2009

Rewards and gifts of prayer and meditation

Rewards of prayer and meditation. First, let us consider some basic questions and ideas, as they will relate to this blog entry.

What is a reward?
A gift or compensation for an effort or action

Does this mean prayer and meditation are difficult or require substantial effort to gain a reward?
Yes. No.

For some, their personal connotation of these words will cause them to be difficult to achieve. These are folks who have allowed the words (prayer, meditation) to become entangle with and overshadowed by their perception of the word religion. These may be folks who have developed a general aversion to religion and are not aware that religion and spirituality are two distinct different things. Or possibly folks who have just never developed an understanding of spirituality. For others, over emphasis will make them difficult to achieve. These are folks who feel it must be done in just such a way or feel crippled by not “knowing how” to.

For others prayer and meditation are very easy, sometimes spontaneous, or just “natural.”

What is prayer?
Prayer is a directed, one-way communication with an outside force. We direct or thoughts or questions or concerns or requests to a specific entity. This is focused expression to a distinct spirit or group of spirits. For some it may be a “casual conversation” to (not with) their Creator. In other words, they are chatting with sincerity to their entity not expecting any exchange dialog. This may be to express concern or request guidance. To express gratitude for life’s gifts or beauty or to seek an understanding of something that troubles us.

What is meditation?
Meditation is a purposeful quieting of the mind with intent to focus deeply.

The focus may be on many different intents such as calming the nerves, relaxing the body, opening the mind to “answers,” receiving direction from a higher power, “installing” a concept or idea as a new belief or truth. Calming the nerves, relaxing the body and opening the mind are all part of the process into meditation; however, they may also be the single goal of that specific meditative session.

How must one pray?
The way that is best for them. Individual philosophies and religions often teach a recommended way to pray, however, there is no spiritual law that dictates how you must pray.

How must one meditate?
The way that is best for them. Again, there are many “suggested” ways to meditate, however, an individual can easily try them out to find what fits them best just as they would try a few pairs of shoes or pants to find which fits best.

So… what are some of these gifts or rewards that come to us through prayer and meditation?
Serenity!
There simply is no faster, more effective way to gain serenity than through prayer and meditation. Do you have to both pray and meditate? Not at all. In fact, prayer and meditation are separate functions. Prayer is a fast, at the moment communication with a higher power and can be achieved at any time. Whereas meditation requires time and the absence of any other activity. Both however, are very effective in gaining peace of mind and quieting the internal chatter, often called the “committee.”

For some this single, pure reward of serenity may only be brief following immediately after or shortly after prayer or meditation. For others it may be residual for several hours or even days. What I have learned is that the more frequently I pray for guidance and to express gratitude, the more residual and steadfast the serenity. The more regularly I meditate, the deeper the serenity.

The ingredients that combine into serenity are peace of mind, faith, acceptance, patience, tolerance and gratitude. Any one ingredient gives us a “bit” of serenity; however, the more of the ingredients that come together, the deeper and more fulfilling the serenity.

When we pray or meditate, we need to focus on each of these and seek them.

Each individual ingredient is also a gift in itself. In times of uncertainty, peace of mind is priceless. When we are in a hurry, patience and tolerance can be wonderful when we encounter others who have no need to be in a hurry.

Ideally, we should be praying frequently throughout our day and meditating 2-3 times a day. Praying for guidance in decisions, praying for guidance in living “in a good way,” and acknowledging gratitude for the special moments in our day (seeing a flower, seeing an animal, seeing a smile, opportunities to smile to a stranger, opportunities to do good things,..). We should pray gratitude for the things and people we have in our lives, and gratitude for our lives. We should meditate in the morning asking for guidance and the blessing of starting the day in a good frame of mind with good intentions. We should meditate in the evening and seek guidance and awareness of how to become a better person and for answers to our questions and awareness of our mistakes.

Hello my friend- it’s very difficult to live ideally! What we can do though, is make a conscious effort to live that way as best as possible. Work at becoming aware of opportunities to pray throughout the day and set aside time to meditate at least once a day. The gifts and rewards are priceless and the “effort” fades away as the practice becomes part of our life.

The rewards also include a wonderful transformation of our attitudes towards life and all things. In time there are less “problems” and more serenity.

The bottom line of step eleven is improving our conscious contact with our Higher Power and seeking to live the type of wonderful life that HP intends for us. We do this through prayer and meditation. We become better people. We experience life in a better way. We come to know a sense of serenity that baffles “normal” people.


By Wolf running with the Spirit Wind

3.23.2009

Step Eleven: Will

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with G-d as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.



Desire

Of all the Steps, the Eleventh speaks most explicitly about our relationship with G-d and how that connection is maintained. But aside from telling us how to seek G-d, does this Step tell us more about who G-d is? The answer is a definitive yes. At first reading, it may be easy to miss, but with careful consideration, we can see that the Eleventh Step makes what is perhaps the important statement about G-d to be found in all of The Steps.

Step Eleven reads: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with G-d as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

G-d has a will. With this one word, Step Eleven communicates the most essential component of our concept of G-d.

Step Three, which speaks of G-d’s caring as well as Steps Five, Six and Seven which describe His desire for a relationship with us, both indicate that G-d has a will. But here, in Step Eleven, G-d’s will is explicitly mentioned for the first time. And not only does G-d have a will, but He has a specific “will for us.” G-d wants something from each of His creations.



Need vs. Want

Many philosophical and religious systems view the idea of G-d wanting something to be problematic. How can an infinite and perfect being want for anything? Does this not imply lacking?

Judaism is not troubled by this concept. Indeed, it is the very foundation of Judaism as a covenantal religion. G-d promises to uphold His end of the deal, but He also wants certain things in return. As G-d told Abraham, father of the Jewish people, “I will establish my covenant as an everlasting covenant… As for you, you must keep my covenant, you and your descendants after you for the generations to come.” (Gen. 17:7-9) Again, just prior to the Revelation at Sinai, G-d tells Moses, “Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession….” (Ex. 19:5) Clearly, G-d wants something.

Indeed, the exact nature of His will – what He wants and does not want – is the very basis of Torah law. The commandments (mitzvot) are not arbitrary orders but an expression of G-d’s desires. Indeed, as the kabbalists describe it, G-d makes Himself vulnerable, so-to-speak, by articulating His likes and dislikes and allowing his creations free choice as to whether or not they will abide by these wishes. As such, Judaism does not view adherence to G-d’s commandments so much as a matter of obedience as a matter of sensitivity to what G-d wants from us. That is not to say that without our compliance G-d is somehow incomplete (perish the thought.) G-d certainly requires nothing. He has no needs. But He does have a will; and this will is no less than the driving force behind all of creation.

Because G-d needs nothing, He also did not need to create. Had He chosen not to be a Creator, He would still be G-d. Yet G-d wants to create. And He wants to create because He wants something from His creations. In the words of the Midrash, G-d made the world because “He yearned to have a dwelling place in the lower realms.” The Chasidic masters explain this to mean that G-d created the world because of a passionate desire to be “at home” in a realm inhabited by sentient beings with free will and ego-consciousness. Why G-d wants this, we cannot know. Indeed, the difference between a need and a desire is that a need can be rationally defended but a desire has no practical reason. As Rabbi Schneur Zalman, founder of the Chabad school of Chasidism, used to say when discussing the nature of G-d’s will for creation, “Of a desire, one may ask no questions.”

Understanding this concept is crucial for the spirituality of the recovering addict. It is not enough that the addict believe in a G-d who has all of the qualities to which the other Steps allude – power, goodness and forbearance. The addict’s recovery is based upon a relationship with a G-d who has a specific will for him or her, a G-d who asks for things and allows Himself to be served. A G-d who wants nothing, who has no opinion or preferences, cannot be served. And without the opportunity to serve, one cannot transcend the self.



Thy Will (Not Mine)

As noted above in reference to Step Two, the problem of the addict is primarily an obsession with control. This is why it is so important to see G-d as a “power greater than ourselves.” But in order to fully address the issue, it must be recognized that the addict’s desire for control is just that – a desire. In other words, the addict has a will. Accordingly, recovery means to realize that G-d also has a will and to place that will before one’s own.

The Big Book says: “We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be… We ask especially for freedom from self-will….” (p. 87) This remarkably parallels the Jewish prayer contained in liturgy for the early morning: “May it be Your will, L-rd my G-d and G-d of our fathers, to accustom us to following Your instructions and to adhere to the fulfillment of Your commandments… Let not our evil inclination have mastery over us… [rather] force our inclination to be subservient to You.”

One often hears those in recovery say, “I had to stop doing things my way because my way doesn’t work.” This begs the question, “Which way does work?” Some may be inclined to give a vague answer like, “The Steps” or “the program” but The Steps and the program clearly tell us that the way that works is G-d’s. First and foremost, the addict seeks to align his or her own will to the will of G-d.

To wit, the phrase “Thy will be done” is found three times in the Big Book of AA. The wording is obviously a direct reference to The Lord’s Prayer from Christian liturgy. But an interesting edition is made to these words on p. 85 where it states, in relation to the Eleventh Step, “Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of G-d’s will into all of our activities. ‘How can I best serve Thee – Thy will (not mine) be done.’” The context of the phrase and the notable insertion of the words in parentheses – “not mine” – put a quite a new spin on these words not to be found in the original. Here, “Thy will be done” is used as a request to G-d that in all areas of life, His will should overrule our own. In other words, the program is describing a G-d who has an opinion about “all of our activities.” Whether we eat, sleep, do business or pray, there is a way to do it that conforms to G-d’s will. As King Solomon said (Proverbs 3:6), “In all your ways you should know Him and He will make your paths straight,” or, in the words of the Mishnah (Pirkei Avot 2:12), “All your deeds should be for the sake of Heaven.”



Knowledge of His Will for Us

There are those who concede that G-d may have a will but think it arrogant to assume that we can ever hope to know what it is. Of course, Judaism is based on the idea that G-d has explicitly revealed His will and told His people exactly what He wants. That is precisely what occurred at the Revelation at Sinai more than three millennia and three centuries ago. Some may still argue that this constitutes only a general will, but that G-d does not communicate a specific will for the individual.

In answer:

First of all, the commandments are a specific will for the individual. One cannot perform all of the commandments in every place and at every time. We fulfill the commandments wherever and whenever they are applicable to the situation. Thus, by leading the individual to a particular situation where a specific commandment may be observed, G-d is certainly indicating His will for that person.

I once dealt with a young Jewish man who was suffering from mental illness. It was time for a group meeting and he was nowhere to be found so I went to the dormitory to fetch him. I found him collapsed in his bed. I asked him if he was able to get up. He replied that he was able but that he did not want to. I asked him why not. He told me that he did not want to move until G-d told him to do so. I went to the library and brought back a copy of the Concise Code of Jewish Law from which I then read to him: “When one awakens in the morning, one must immediately recognize and appreciate the kindness G-d has done with him… One should say [the prayer] ‘I give thanks]… and by doing so, he will realize that G-d is in his midst and will immediately get out of bed and prepare himself for the service of G-d.” The young man thought about these words and got out of bed.

Secondly, if we are to believe in G-d’s meticulous providence for every detail in His creation, then we also believe that G-d will show us the right path in every aspect of life. This does not have to come in the form of prophecy or a booming voice from the clouds. G-d’s will can be revealed to us in a number of ways that are perfectly natural and normal. As the Baal Shem Tov taught, “Everything a person sees or hears can be taken as a lesson in serving the Creator.” In the words of the Big Book (p. 164), “God will constantly disclose more to you and to us… The answers will come, if your own house is in order.”





“And the Power to Carry that Out”

By deferring his or her own personal will, the addict is promised a new way of life that is infinitely more fulfilling than a life of active addiction. But there are many who are uncomfortable with the notion of such complete surrender. They think it to be a prescription for passivity.

The Jewish view, however, is that submission to G-d’s will is the key to effective living. As the Sages taught (Pirkei Avot 2:4), “Make His will your will so that He may fulfill your will as though it were His will. Set aside your will because of His will so that He may set aside the will of others before your will.” From here it would seem that deferring to G-d’s will is not just necessary for the addict wishing to achieve sobriety but a useful suggestion for all people. With self-will, one is limited in his or her ability and wherewithal. One may confront an obstacle or an impasse that cannot be negotiated or overcome. What this teaching relates to us is that by doing things “G-d’s way” rather than our own, we channel the force of the Creator. And nothing can stop the force of the Creator in His creation.

Thus, we return to our first concept of G-d that we gleaned from The Steps – that He is Power. Giving up on self-will in order to do G-d’s will is not passivity. It does not mean that one has no will. It means that one’s will now comes from a higher place than his or her own needs and wants. Judaism sees this as the ultimate level of human existence. Indeed, the patriarchs – Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – are lauded as being “chariots” for the Divine Will for they lived their entire lives in a state of complete surrender to G-d. Rabbi Schneur Zalman writes in Tanya that the average person also becomes such a vehicle for G-d’s Presence whenever he or she fulfills any of the commandments.

In this light, submission to G-d’s will means to become a medium that channels the Divine. “The power to carry that out” is this inherent to the act of surrender. In other words, G-d does not just tell us what He wants us to do; He tells us how to become a conduit for His will and His power by doing what He wants.



--
Shais Taub

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