Yoga - Meditation - Step 11

Many people think of yoga as stretching for fitness.  What is really on the mat is preparation for meditation.  It is working the body and mind to better settle into quiet.  This quiet time helps to improve our conscious contact with a Higher Power.

No matter if your taking yoga class at a studio or practicing in the home allow yourself that extra time when finished to sit quietly afterwards.  If coming from a yoga studio try to keep talking to a minimum or none until you can get to your meditation.  You may need to quietly leave class when finished and find your quiet space either in your home or a special space outside.  Some teachers leave time for a deep meditation period after class and that may be all you need.

Focus on the breath especially when distracted.  Distraction is normal in meditation.  Simply bring your concentration back to your breath.  Breathe deeply all the way down to the belly, expanding it like your belly is a balloon on your inhalations.  Keep your mouth closed and breath through the nose only. 

Most importantly do not judge your practice. If you have just started or have been doing this for years it is all good.  One baby step at a time.  One inhalation at a time.  One experience at a time.  Just keep practicing one day at a time.

Meditation for 12 Step - Cleaning the House

So during my yoga teacher training we had to write meditations for the beginning of our classes.  It was suggested since I will be teaching the Yoga of Recovery to write a recovery based meditation.  I have to say I really enjoy this process.  What is most fun is hearing what people visualized when doing the meditation. 

So I won't write word for word what I did.  But I will give you something to visualize when meditating. 



Picture a set of 12 steps.  What do they look like?  Are they outside?  inside?  wood?  stone?  carpeted?  Get a good visual of your steps.

Notice there are obstacles on your steps.  As you slowly walk up your stairs clean up your stairs so you can walk through.

Once on your twelfth step look back down and notice this path you have made.  Notice how it feels.  Will you have to unload and go back down to clean up more? 

That is a shortened version and a general idea of the visual.  I was more specific and had people stop at specific Steps and related specific obstacles to pick up (character defects, etc.)

So what did people see? 

Types of steps - clouds, wood on a beach, wide with a red carpet, marble etc.
Obstacles - toys, dirty socks, assorted clutter etc.
Looking back down - still much to clean up but a path was made

Using these visuals can help in many ways.  It can help give us the confidence to work the Steps and clean up our stairs.  It lets us know it is a process.  We may not get our stairs fully clean the first time around but a path is made and that is but a beginning.  It is now easier to go back down the stairs and clean more, clearing our path a little more each time.  We can connect with our feelings in this process.  Although many don't like the feelings it may bring up which can help us dig even deeper. 

So WHY would we do any exercise like this?  Ultimately to let in the sunlight of the spirit.  To get closer to God, your Higher Power, deepen your spiritual connection.  It does not matter how you word it, clean house so there is nothing between you and spirit.  Then we can give back to others.  Our cups are full and we have something to give.  To keep our cups full so we are not drained "We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out."

Yours in service,
Gwen R~

An IOCC Reader Shares His Experience Strength and Hope on Step 11

I would love to have a conversation with God, to sit close and hear
actual words being spoken by my Higher Power, especially as S/He
clearly explains the perfect direction for my life. If that’s not
possible, could I have a fresh email from my Higher Power sitting in
my inbox each morning? Isn’t that what step 11 is all about, finding
the knowledge of God’s will for us?

I had heard of a Step Eleven meeting at a nearby town. Twenty minutes
of mediation and 40 minutes of sharing was the weekly agenda. I went
with expectations for I was struggling with depression and fear. I was
tired of coping and had a deep hope that someone or some God could
alleviate my pain. I wanted a deeper connection with God, often
frustrated that I could go through the day without a thought of God. I
had attempted mediation in the past, trying to still my mind, to quiet
the endless stream of thoughts that poured down those well worn
groves. Those attempts always ended in frustration, the noise of my
thoughts getting louder as I attempted to hush them. Thoughts that
made breathe difficult. I could never repeat my experiences in group
meditation where I had long moments of peacefulness. But on my own?
Nada. The shitty committee moves in and throws a party.

So I found that meeting, sat in the circle among welcoming faces, and
enjoyed the next twenty minutes of quiet. Listening to the swish of
breathe, small sounds of people adjusting their positions, my breathe
becoming one with theirs. It was peaceful, serene, and I was not
alone. Then the sharing started and I listened as others shared of
their frustrations and successes with meditation. When I shared, it was
of my desire for a deep connection with my Higher Power, for direction
in my life. I must have alarmed the next speaker, for he softly warned
me that, perhaps, my expectations were too high. I reacted in old
ways, feeling scolded and unloved. The color of the meeting changed,
became cold and unwelcoming. Old fears welled up, precipitating into
anger. I sat quietly, waited for the meeting was over so I could put
my coffee cup away in token service, then exiting with tears revealing
my frustrations and self-pity.

I walked a long time till I found a spot to sit and ponder; trying to
understand what was the purpose of mediation. I tried to look at my
part but couldn’t, still resentful of others. I found the Grapevine
booklet “The Best of Bill” in my pocket and opened it up to the essay
on Love. I read:

“Suddenly I realized what the matter was. My basic flaw had always
been dependence - almost absolute dependence - on people or
circumstance to supply me with prestige, security, and the like.
Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and
specifications, I had fought for them. And when defeat came, so did my
depression.”

Then I could see my part. I wanted that damn magic wand again, my
Higher Power’s wand that would make my problems go away, that would
arrange my life in perfect order. Hmmmm, perhaps sloth comes to mind,
laziness, not wanting to do the work, an easy out. Reminds me of
drinking.

I understand there will not be a conversation with my Higher Power to
map out my life or even just today. My journey will be like that of
others, the path to be discovered as I travel through the day, while
being unable to avoid the painful episodes that life’s circumstances
bring. And what is God’s will for me? Just to be helpful to the person
in front of me, not expecting or demanding anything in return. To
trust.

Submitted by an IOCC reader...

Light of the Spirit

Yesterday I had a series of thoughts and emotions well up while at church. My 14 year-old son has just joined the choir and this made me think of my father. Richard James Rebbeck passed away on December 26, 2007 and I miss him very much. My dad and mom both participated in our church choir for over 30 years. Being immersed in a spiritual family can be a powerful and moving experience. I felt GOD amongst the congregation.

Attending mass has been a vehicle that allows me to get closer to my Higher Power. The “routine” of the service can easily be compared to a meditation. Singing, reciting prayers and even silent group prayers are all mixed together in a wonderful spiritual event. I have never been a “bible thumper” but recently I've found myself attracted more and more to its stories and teachings. A longing is present within me; and at different time’s increases in intensity and importance.

My favorite time of the day is between 5:00 and 6:00A.M.; it is usually very quiet and peaceful. Recently I've found myself wanting to write during these waking minutes. My meditation process is always evolving. The Big Book mentions that “we become much more”… I love that. We are becoming much more, everyday I am without a drink or a drug I feel is growth.

Sitting in my home office I am surrounded by images of family, symbols of faith, and words of encouragement... This too is my “church”. Breathing in and breathing out I practice remembering. Remembering how lucky I am; how grateful I am. My son asked me if I had any books on meditation the other night, boy do I! So many books, so many options on the how and how to… One I found and read recently suggested getting quiet, closing my eyes and focusing on the “Light of the Spirit” in my heart.

This A.M. I feel that Spirit in my heart. I love being sober and open to growth. I would like to wish everyone a full heart today. May the Grace of God enter your lives and allow you to feel loved and to share that love with those around you… He is here amongst us.

Step 3 by Randy F.

The practice of 11th Step meditation for me is a very practical way to actually "work" the first 3 steps every time I meditate. Here are the first 3 steps of meditation as I have experienced them:

• The 1st Step of meditation: Relax and Let Go of unmanageable thoughts and emotions

• The 2nd Step of meditation: Discover and practice my inner connection to my Higher Power to restore me to sanity

• The 3rd Step of meditation: Make decisions to surrender my self-will to allow God’s will to flow

Meditation helps us to practice letting go of unmanageable thoughts, connect to a power greater than ourselves, and make the decisions to let go and connect over and over again throughout the meditation.

Step Three: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood him.

I have discovered that I have a very powerful mental and emotional self-will muscle that has been given free rein to rule my thoughts, emotions and my actions for all these years. There is no better description of this muscle in action, in a person totally trapped in ego and separated from their spiritual self, than in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous on pages 60-63.

“Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. “

“Our actor is self-centered- ego-centric, as people call it today.”

“Selfish –self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self delusion, self-seeking and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.”

“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes this possible. We had to have God’s help.”

Imagine how our self-will muscle keeps a firm grip on this self-centered perspective of the world. If we have a perception or worldview, that tells us that we are separate and alone, then, we develop many unconscious emotional programs, fears and behaviors, to protect us in this isolated world. To me, this is the insanity from which I need to be restored, or recovered, from. When I am stuck in that selfish and self-centered place, I am viewing the world as a Randy-centered universe. Everything revolves around me, is being done to me or against me.

This is self-centeredness, what we commonly call Ego, or as I like to call it, my self-will muscles. My self-will muscle worldview is that I’m separate and alone. To me, this is the root of my spiritual disease, my insanity! These self will muscles, just like my physical muscles, contract and hold onto my past perceptions, ideas, resents and fears. I'm reminded of the saying from the rooms - "I never let go of anything that didn't have claw marks on it."

The other inner action of the self-will muscle is pushing. I often push people or situations, thoughts, feelings and things away from me that are uncomfortable. I am in denial, resentment or fear, refusing to see the truth in the "sunlight of the spirit." I pushed away the program and my Higher Power as I went in and out for 5 years before I stayed sober and accepted the idea that I could not take that first drink, no matter what.

These two self-will muscle groups often work together to team up to slow my spiritual progress. I often hear people push away new ideas or habits - such as daily meditation, because they are holding on to the ideas that "meditation doesn't work for me," or "I am just not able to quiet my mind," or "I just don't have time in the day" for 15-20 minutes of quiet meditation.

How do we shift from self-will, Ego, muscle dominance to a sane, whole spiritual perspective and lifestyle? Meditation is a highly effective the tool that gives us practice creating this new worldview.

The simple spiritual exercise of meditation works in so many incredible ways to heal our bodies, our emotions, our minds, the people in our lives and even our planet. In recent years science has discovered that in meditation we:

• change the way our brains are hardwired by mapping new neural pathways

• heal our physical bodies through the transmission of neuro-peptides to every cell in our bodies

• generate a healing, loving, organizing electromagnetic energy from our heart center that touches every part of our body and others within a 5-8 foot radius of us

• transmit biophotons from the sub-atomic level that communicates our thoughts, emotions and actions instantly to the rest of the world

So, why can’t I just change? I got sober when I was 39 years old. I had been living and exercising my self-will muscles for 39 years. There was much energy, or mud, caked around my behaviors, my old belief systems, and my thoughts patterns.

Every action produces a reaction. Science calls this the law of cause and effect. The bible teaches us that “we reap what we sow.” We receive the fruits of what we plant and nurture. The eastern religions call this karma. Everything that we think, or say, or do creates energy in the world. Thoughts are things. Our brain does not know the difference between a thought and an action. Everything that I have thought, felt, said or done has been recorded as energy in my mind, my body and in the Universe. This is a scary thought!

Imagine the character of Pig Pen in the Peanuts comic strip. Like him, we walk around surrounded by a cloud of energy, swirling around us with a multitude of emotional colors and mental baggage, interacting with the world leaving our energy scattered about everywhere we go. As alcoholics and drug addicts, and human beings in general, we have mis-directed our energies. Meditation is a wonderful tool to help us re-train our mind and our perspective on our emotions and our lives.

I call the self that I am striving to remember and reconnect to, my SpiritSelf. This has been described as the True Self, Higher Self, Soul, and Higher Consciousness. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. My SpiritSelf has been a overshadowed to my self-will muscles for much of my life. I practice letting go of my self-will muscles in meditation. I become the observer of my thoughts and life. I discover and reconnect, again, to my Higher Power. I let go and I let God.

But, what is God's Will? How can we tell the difference between God’s will and our will? We have had many years of being the director of our lives. We learn that as we practice meditation and overcoming ourselves we will slowly become more closely connected, the conscious contact promised in the 11th Step, with our SpiritSelf and God.

We begin by developing an awareness in meditation. The first step is learning how to relax our bodies, how to not listen to the “voices” of our mind and to practice connecting with our Higher Power and other human beings. We cannot stop our mind from thinking as we meditate. As thoughts arise in your meditation, just watch them float by, as if on a cloud or in a stream. Become the observer of your thoughts. This is learning to be detached from your thoughts. You will find that this will be a skill that becomes easier the more that you meditate.

You can practice being in the Presence of our Higher Power during meditations. When you settle into our inner meditation space you can begin to create a visualization of what your Higher Power looks like. This can be an image of light, a symbol, a person, or anything that you wish to develop as an image in your meditation of a power greater than yourself. What does this look and feel like? Your Higher Power image will evolve over time as you work with this meditation and throughout your sobriety. Remember, thoughts are things and as you connect to your higher power in meditation you are actually creating this connection!

We encounter a Step 3 opportunity every moment during meditation. It is an opportunity to “make a decision” and take an action – will it be the self-will path or the SpiritSelf path? Will I choose to follow the unmanageable thoughts that are crying for my attention, or will I detach, watch the thought float by and stay centered in the meditative moment?

This is a "surrender moment," a 3rd Step moment in meditation. I have thoughts or distractions in my meditation. I can choose to attach an emotion to them, to be distracted by them, or I can choose to notice the thought, detach from it and return to my meditation. Sometimes when I am unsettled, it seems like the thoughts and distractions are quite regular, I need to remember that I am being given the opportunity to demonstrate, over and over, my "decision" to turn my will and life over to the care of God. What a wonderful gift and exercise to actually practice this surrender moment!

The more I practice this surrender intention during meditation the more I diminish my self-will muscles, my ego. Every time I make the decision to detach from my unmanageable thoughts and emotions I am surrendering to God's will. Each meditation moves me one small step closer to the "conscious contact" promised in Step 11. Some days I sense that I have glimpses of this in the moment, in the now awareness of what the next right action is.

When I am in doubt about what God's will is I follow these tips. I know if I take these actions that I will be very close to making a decision to align with God’s Will:

• Stay sober

• Work the Steps

• Meditate

• Let go and Let God

• Listen to the silence within

• Do the next right thing

• Forgiveness, always

• Express love to yourself and to all others

• Share

I sense an 11th Step Meditation movement within the 12 Step groups. More 11th Step meditation meetings and resources are becoming available each year. Maybe we are at the beginning of the next frontier in recovery - Spiritual Sobriety.

Here is my 11th Step Intention for today....Learn to Meditate. Meditate every day. Meditate with groups. Help others to meditate.

Randy F.

Spirit Step

11th Step Meditation

What I Learned From Jody K.

Read the posts of Jody K.

In Jody's post Following the Signs I keyed in on two paragraphs. The first was (5th paragraph) when Jody wrote of he simple morning prayer "God, guide my thoughts and actions. Please make me useful today." Next I zoomed in on (11th paragraph)"though I've come to the conclusion that if I listen and follow signs, I'll fall in step with God's will for me. And I'll be given the power to carry that out - in time, resources, inspiration, or whatever I might need." I identified with these actions actions. Though I may use different words I too ask God in the morning to be of service to others. Without a doubt I believe God gives me the power to carry that out. No matter how much I may drag my feet I am given what I need to be of service to others.

When reading Meditation on Being I had a LOT of nodding going on. Oh yes indeed! I loved hearing about "wordless prayer" and "Aligning myself is Harmony." How I related to all of her words describing this and had never put it to words. I especially related to how her concept of a Higher Power shifts. My concept of a Higher Power is first the God of I grew up learning about. All of the other spiritual and religious concepts I have learned since becoming sober help me understand my Higher Power on a deeper level. I learn from so many sources, so like Jody my concept of my Higher Power shifts.

How do I make use of what Jody has to offer? For me reading the words that describe what I frequently do helps me to be mindful of the action. So now when I am doing "wordless prayer" I can be mindful of it. I can practice being in the moment when taking the time to "breathe for a while." I can also make use of what Jody wrote about being given the power to carry out God's will for me. I can always always use reaffirming, after all I am only human. ;)

Thanks Jody K. for all you have offered us!

Step Two: Power

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”



Capital “P”

The first allusion to G-d in The Steps is found in Step Two where He is referred to as “a Power greater than ourselves.” Note the capitalization. It is evident that we are not just talking about any power which happens to be stronger than we are. If that were so, then the recovering person might believe that gravity or electromagnetism could restore his or her sanity. Those are powers that are greater than we are. We certainly cannot defy their effects. But we also have no reason to believe that they can do anything for us other than blindly impose their influences as dictated by the laws of nature. When we speak about Power, that is, the proper (capitalized) rather than common (uncapitalized) noun, we are talking about a force that transcends all of the other various powers in the universe.

The Zohar, the canon text of Kabbalah, says of G-d, “Master of the Worlds, You are the Highest of the High, the Causer of Causes.” Maimonides, the 12th century Jewish legalist and theologian, expresses much the same idea in his Principles of Faith, albeit in a more philosophical tone, where he writes, “[G-d] is the cause of all that exists… and there is no possibility that He does not exist because without Him, all existence would cease. [Whereas] if we could imagine the absence of all existence other than His, the existence of God would not cease or diminish, for He is self-sufficient and His existence requires nothing other than Himself.”

In other words, while the phrase “a Power greater than ourselves” may lend itself to being interpreted out of context as any power whose effects are unavoidable, nevertheless, if read in the context of the rest of The Steps, it is obvious that the Power mentioned in Step 2 is not the sun or the ocean tides but the same G-d who is explicitly mentioned throughout the following Steps – the G-d who restores sanity (Step 2), who cares for the individual (Step 3), who removes character defects (5,6 and 7), who lets His will be known and grants power to the individual to adhere to that will (Step 11).



Higher or Highest

One still might ask, if this “Power” is indeed singular and unique, if it is none other than the Power behind all other powers, then why is it referred to only as “a Power” and not “the Power”? Perhaps the following story will prove helpful in finding an answer to this question.

A popular AA speaker, Clancy I., talks about his early experiences grappling with belief. He relates how he told his sponsor that he could not believe in G-d. His sponsor asked him if he could believe in G-d and just not use the word “G-d.” Clancy said that he could not. The sponsor asked him if he could believe in the power of the AA group. Clancy said that he could not do that either. Finally, the sponsor asked him, “Can you admit that I am doing better than you?” Clancy said that he could. “Congratulations, kid,” said the sponsor, “You’ve just met your new Higher Power.”

Yet, more telling than the story itself is its epilogue. Years later, Clancy’s sponsor stopped working the program, got drunk and died. What was Clancy to do now, what with his Higher Power being dead and all? Would he lose his direction, his faith? Not at all. As Clancy explains it, by the time he lost his sponsor, Clancy already believed in G-d. It was his belief in his sponsor as a power greater than himself that was the necessary first move away from total self-reliance. Once he was able to accept his dependence upon something outside of his own ego, he had already begun his journey toward finding G-d.

In other words, it is most probably safe to say that a person can get sober and work an effective 2nd Step just by believing in any power greater than himself. Indeed, it is often the case that belief in a higher power – any higher power! – is that which marks the nascent beginnings of a process toward discovering the Highest Power. It is this Highest Power that is referred to explicitly in the following Steps which come right out and unambiguously invoke the word “G-d.” So, while Step 2 does not tell us that we need to believe in “G-d” per se, it most certainly begins to lead us in that direction.

This method of finding G-d through a process of deduction is exemplified by the spiritual quest of the world’s first champion of monotheism, Abraham. As Maimonides describes:

"[Abraham] was but a small child when his mind began to seek and wonder, ‘How do the heavenly bodies orbit without a moving force? Who moves them? They cannot move themselves!’ …His heart sought and then came to know that there is but one G-d... who created all and that in all existence there is none other than Him.”





G-d in the First Step

In a very important way, the process of finding G-d as Highest Power was quietly begun in The First Step where the addict admitted his or her own powerlessness.

It might be useful to note that chasidus (the mystical teachings of Chasidism) teaches that the opposite of serving G-d is not idolatry but self-obsession. At least idolaters turn to an entity outside of themselves while egomaniacs – and addicts, almost by definition, fit the bill – cannot peacefully defer to anyone or anything aside for their own ego. Thus, the mental shift which is most critical and urgent is for the addict to adhere to that simple piece of advice oft-heard in the rooms: “Get out of your own head.”

The Talmud relates that G-d says of an arrogant person, “It is impossible for he and Me to dwell in the same place.” Although G-d is omnipresent and thus to be found everywhere, His Presence cannot be felt where there is haughtiness and pride. In order to allow the Power of G-d into one’s life, one must first acquiesce to the fact of his or her own lack of power. The story is told that when the Rabbi of Kotzk (1787-1859) was but a small child, he was asked, “Where is G-d?” To which the young rabbi-to-be replied, “Wherever you let Him in.” This same idea is expressed by the Midrashic saying, “You cannot pour into a cup that is already full.”

In other words, G-d will always fill whatever spaces that we make for Him but He will not intrude where He is clearly unwelcome. In order to experience G-d’s Power in Step 2, one first makes a “power vacuum” in Step 1. This recognition of the limits of personal power sets the scene for entering into a relationship with that which is Unlimited Power.





Power

In Step 1, one becomes ready to meet G-d. In Step 2, one actually meets Him and it is there that G-d is first introduced, not as “G-d” but as Power. Why this description of G-d rather than any other? Why does the first reference to G-d in The Steps allude to Him specifically as “a Power”?

One might answer that since “G-d” is a word fraught with so many connotations and which evokes so many prejudices, that it just works better to “ease into it” and not to use the word “G-d” right away. This is certainly a valid point, as we find in the old Jewish tale of the rabbi who tells the atheist, “My son, don’t worry. The same G-d that you don’t believe in, I don’t believe in either.”

But this still does not answer our question. Why allude to G-d specifically as a Power and not with any other word besides G-d?

The concept of power is one that is central to recovery from addiction. The disease – regardless of drug of choice – is essentially an obsession with control and power. The addict wants control and finds it in the altering of his or her state of being through indulgence in the addictive behavior. In order to recover, the addict must surrender this desire for control. But surrender it to what? To G-d? The prospects of this surrender being effective depend entirely on one’s concept of G-d. Simply put, the idea that G-d can heal the addict only seems true if one’s conception of G-d is one that is worthy of being surrendered to. G-d may be many things to many people, but for the recovering addict, G-d must first and foremost be Power.

Indeed, this may be the reason why the practice of religion by itself is almost always far from adequate in treating addiction. One can believe in G-d and even practice some form of devotion to Him, but if one does not see G-d as a Power, then there is nothing to which the addict can surrender control. While there may be many religions or belief systems that view G-d as the archetype of many such abstractions as Love, Wisdom, Peace and the like, in recovery G-d is the quintessence of Power and is introduced as such even before He is introduced as G-d.

The medieval Jewish philosopher, Judah HaLevi, explains in The Kuzari why the first commandment in The Decalogue states, “I am the L-rd your G-d who took you out of Egypt.” Why did G-d not introduce Himself as “The Lord your G-d who created the heaven and the earth”? Surely that is a far more impressive credential than engineering the Exodus. HaLevi answers that G-d chose to introduce Himself in the way that was most relevant to those to whom He was addressing. The concept of creation seems too abstract, dare we say, too impersonal, to serve as a basis for a truly intimate relationship with G-d. The Exodus, on the other hand, demonstrates G-d’s direct involvement in the affairs of man – that G-d did not just make the world but that He is actively involved in the world and that He is all-powerful to act within it as He wishes. Thus, the Jewish relationship with G-d is not predicated upon His role as Creator but as Power.

I once spoke to a young man who had been in recovery for about a year and had not managed to put together any significant amount of time. He called me up because he said that he needed to believe in a Higher Power but that he lacked the background to be able to figure out who or what that was. I asked him to describe for me the G-d of his understanding. He told me that, as he understood it, G-d was compassionate, just and wise. I told him that according to our tradition all of those descriptions are true, but that he left out the most important one. He grappled, without luck, to find the word that I was waiting for. I told him, “You told me that you came to me because you wanted to find your ‘Higher Power.’ If your Higher Power is G-d, then why didn’t you mention that G-d was powerful?”

We began to discuss various mystical concepts which describe G-d’s absolute control over the universe. Chasidus is replete with analogies and examples which illustrate how G-d did not just create the world but that He continues to exert absolute control over every detail of reality. I told him about the concept of “on-going creation,” that even now, G-d is bringing the universe into existence out of absolute void and nothing. As G-d continually creates something out of nothing, He places everything exactly where He wants it at this very second. Without this constant imposition, all of creation would revert to nothingness. There is no automatic pilot; G-d is always in control. In the lingo of recovery, “Nothing absolutely nothing happens in G-d’s world by mistake.” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 417)

Although he found our discussion to be intellectually stimulating, the young man stated that “in his heart,” he could not bring himself to believe in this kind of absolute omnipotence. I asked him, “What good is a G-d who is compassionate, just and wise if He is unable to exercise His compassion, justice and wisdom whenever and however He likes? How can such a weakling restore you to your sanity, let alone be deemed worthy of having you give your life and will over to him?”

G-d cannot be an abstraction. He must be an active force in our lives. My personal spiritual master, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of blessed memory, delivered most of his public addresses in Yiddish. But whenever he would speak in English, he would always refer to G-d with the somewhat unusual phrase, “G-d Almighty,” although this was not a direct translation of the term for G-d that he most often used in his first language. There is something telling about that. When we speak of G-d – particularly in a secular language whose terminology for Divinity is lacking – we must underscore that G-d is Power, that He is not just “G-d” – whatever that means to each of us – but that He is “G-d Almighty.”



--
Shais Taub

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Heal the Insanity with Step Two Meditation: Let Go and Let God

By Randy F.

I have discovered the great benefits of developing a practice of meditation while I worked the steps early in recovery. Although the 11th Step may seem like an advanced step, it became apparent to me that learning to meditate follows the process of the steps exactly!


Step One is “We are powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.” The meditation aspect of the Step One is that “We are powerless over our thoughts and emotions and they are unmanageable.” We can practice beginning meditation techniques to learn how to detach from our unmanageable thoughts and emotions, to use affirmations for concentration and to visualize images to apply our creative energies in a positive direction.


When we finally reach our physical, emotional and mental bottoms we need new perspectives on life and new habits. We very quickly become aware that we cannot accomplish this by ourselves. In meditation with Step Two we learn to discover that we are not alone on our path, that we can have help from a power greater than us. Our next goal is to open ourselves to a power source that is always available and that will help us to re-build our relationship with our selves, our world and our higher power.


Step Two is “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”


Let's look at the meditation aspect of Step Two in three sections:


First - "Restore me to sanity" - what is the insanity that I am recovering from? It is not just doing crazy things. How will meditation help restore me to sanity?


Next - "A Power greater than Ourselves" - In recovery we learn that we are powerless. I am no longer able to force things to happen. I need some power, some source to help my healing journey.


And finally - "Came to believe" - The first phrase of Step Two symbolizes the beginning of a journey, a discovery of our relationship with ourselves and the rest of the world.


Restore me to sanity - I’ve discovered that the root of my insanity is my perception and belief that I am separate, alone…I feel disconnected from others and from my Higher Power. Somehow, as a child, I came to believe this separateness was reality.


So, if we have a perception or worldview, that tells us that we are separate and alone, then, we develop many unconscious emotional programs, fears and behaviors, to protect us in our isolated world. To me, this is the insanity from which I need to be restored, or recovered, from. I have learned to view and interact with a world in which I am the center – a Me-Centered Universe. I have to be in control, the director of this Universe. It’s hard work running the universe. Often people don’t cooperate, and I “feel bad” when my universe doesn’t go well. That was my worldview. To me this is self-centeredness, what is commonly called Ego, or as I like to call it, my FalseSelf. My FalseSelf worldview is that I’m separate and alone. To me, this is the root of my spiritual disease, my insanity!


How do we shift from the FalseSelf perspective to a sane, whole spiritual perspective? Meditation is the tool that gives us practice creating this new worldview.


I call the self that I am striving to remember and reconnect to, my SpiritSelf. This has been described as the True Self, Higher Self, Soul, and Higher Consciousness. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. The 12 Steps, recovery and meditation are tools to begin living as a spiritual being. This true self has qualities that are positive, caring, loving, wise, and unlimited. It is one with, and in conscious contact, with my Higher Power. My SpiritSelf has been hidden by my FalseSelf for much of my life. I practice letting go of my FalseSelf in meditation. I become the observer of my thoughts and life. I discover and reconnect, again, to my Higher Power. I let go and I let God.


This is a spiritual awakening, waking up from the fog of the ego into the sunlight of the spirit. A paradigm shift….A transformation. There is a vast spiritual, unseen world operating in and around me. It takes a paradigm shift, a new way to “see,” to sense and to begin discovering this spiritual world.


So, why can’t I just change? I got sober when I was 39 years old. I had been living from this FalseSelf perspective for 39 years. There was much energy, or mud, caked around my behaviors, my old belief systems, and my thoughts patterns.


Every action produces a reaction. Science calls this the law of cause and effect. The bible teaches us that “we reap what we sow.” We receive the fruits of what we plant and nurture. The eastern religions call this karma. Everything that we think, or say, or do creates energy in the world. Thoughts are things. Our brain does not know the difference between a thought and an action. Everything that I have thought, felt, said or done has been recorded as energy in my mind, my body and in the Universe. This is a scary thought!


The Eastern religions have the concept of Samskara. Think of it as a rut or a groove in our mind. Our habit patterns. The energy patterns of my thinking, feeling and doing have created, energy grooves that are very deep. It takes time and effort to change and overcome the old patterns. Meditation naturally smoothes the energy grooves of my old habits. This spiritual awakening process is gradual for most people. Bill Wilson calls this the educational variety of spiritual experience.


Science has been studying these samskara energy patterns. These are energy fields of form, a pattern, or a structure. These fields are the energy organizing fields of our world. Just imagine – if I have a thought pattern that I am always thinking, then, each time I think this pattern, there is a light energy dust that gathers around the thought pattern. What happens when you don’t dust a room for years? The dust becomes thick, caked on, creating form and an energy field


There used to be an energy field around the hopelessness of being an alcoholic. Dr. David Hawkins in his book, Power vs. Force, points this out. Families, doctors, nor anyone else could do nothing to help a drunk. When the founders of AA discovered a spiritual program for recovery, there was a shift that broke the energy barrier, to overcoming alcoholism. People realized that they could overcome and live with this disease. There was a solution. The shift happened, the samskara barrier was broken. Since then, millions have found recovery through the 12 Steps.


“A Power Greater than ourselves” I discovered and experience the evolution of my Higher Power through meditation. The gift of the 12 Steps is they suggest actions for us to follow. These actions change the spiritual, unseen, aspects of our life and connect us with our Higher Power.


In meditation we practice remembering and experiencing this connection and our true, SpiritSelf. Meditation dissolves the well worn ruts of the FalseSelf patterns and helps eliminate barriers to our Higher Power. I let go and I let God. When we practice an experience during meditation we are actually creating the experience in our consciousness.


How do we overcome the insanity of our FalseSelf?.....by waking up to the present moment and realizing our inner connections to a power greater than ourselves. My FalseSelf does not have the power to rise above and to overcome itself. I cannot fix the problem with the problem. I cannot overcome my ego with my ego. I need another source of help, another source of power. We can learn to connect to our Higher Power which is available to us, by going within. We learn how to detach from our thoughts, connect, and experience this Higher Power through our practice of meditation.


One of the true miracles of the 12 Steps is letting us choose a “Higher Power as you understand it.” It begins simply as a Power greater than ourselves. Several terms for Higher Power that are used in the Big Book are “God,” “Creative Intelligence”, and “Spirit of the Universe”. The term God is often used in the program. It helps to let go of our past negative ideas or images that we have attached to the term God. Think of it as an open ended word for Higher Power. We get to paint the picture of what God looks like to us.


What do we mean when we say “spiritual awakening?” What are we waking up to, or what are we waking up from? To wake up spiritually is to be fully in the present moment, to be free from the illusions created by our Ego and our FalseSelf. This is similar to moving from darkness to light. When I am stuck in self, it is as though I am operating in the dark, alone, unable to see the reality that is happening around me. Our minds are powerful tools and when we are a slave to our thoughts we cannot experience the world of our Higher Power operating in the present moment.


I’ve noticed that God is only working in my life, right now, in the present moment. God does not work in the past or in the future. Although it is often easier to see God’s will in the rear view mirror. Higher Power only works in each present moment, in “the now. “ Be in the Present Moment. Meditation is a wonderful spiritual exercise to practice “waking up” to the now and to the presence of our Higher Power.


“Came to believe” - The first phrase of Step Two signifies the beginning of our journey to discover a relationship with our true selves and our higher power. We develop our relationships through experience and practice. Knowledge and information about something is useless unless we experience it for ourselves. How do we grow our relationship with our Higher Power? We practice experiencing our SpiritSelf and our Higher Power through meditation.


For me, during the first few years of meditation, I learned how to develop a relationship with myself and my Higher Power. But, I struggled to sit down, to make a time commitment, to meditate. At first it was awkward to sit with my Ego, or FalseSelf, to detach and try to connect to my SpiritSelf and Higher Power. It takes time to learn and experience this relationship, just like when you start any new relationship. The more I practice meditation, the more I understand and experience the value of it. I suggest meditating every day. Make a 30, 60, or 90 day commitment to yourself to develop this new habit. A 5 minute meditation is better than none. 20 minutes is a good goal for your meditation. Persevere with a little bit of effort each day begin your spiritual awakening.


It is valuable to create your own special, sacred places for meditation, both internally and externally. I have a chair that I like to sit in at home to meditate. There is a calm energy around the chair that has developed over time by meditating in it. We literally raise the energy level of our meditation space with our mediation practice. This is similar to the energy of sacred buildings and sites around the world from all religions, and also, the rooms where 12 Step meetings are held. We can create this sacred space in our home, where we meditate.


I have a set time early in the morning when I meditate. I wake up 30 minutes before I need to get moving to start my day. It helps to acknowledge this time is for quiet. It is time with my Higher Power. But, please do not limit yourself to only being able to meditate in that one place or only at one specific time. Allow yourself the freedom to meditate with your Higher Power anywhere, anytime.


You can also greatly benefit by meditating regularly with groups. 11th Step Meditation Meetings were very beneficial to me for learning how to meditate in a group. The encouragement and techniques learned from others sharing their experiences helped me to want to practice on my own each day. 11th Step Meditation meetings are becoming more popular in 12 Step communities all over the world.


My Higher Power of today is different than my Higher Power when I first got sober and began meditating. I have combined the inner explorations of meditation with the outer actions of working the steps, actively striving to live a spiritual life, by going to meetings, reading spiritual books, researching and exploring my understanding of my Higher Power…..to become spiritual explorer.


Most of us get the slow, methodical, educational variety of shift and spiritual awakening. This is OK. Meditation is probably the best activity to help unfold our spiritual awakening by breaking down the power of the FalseSelf. In meditation, I get to practice developing a sane and healthy spiritual perspective and paradigm. This is the paradigm of my SpiritSelf, interconnected with my Higher Power, detached from insane thoughts and emotions, breaking down the well worn ruts of Ego. I let go and I let God.

Randy F.