The March Question by Dick B.

On pages 85 & 86 of the Big Book it says "We shouldn't be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter. Yet, we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions." It also says on page 87 "Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."

How have you combined these definite suggestions with making use of what religious people offer?


Thank you for this particular suggestion because it points up several factors important not only to sobriety, but also to a relationship and fellowship with the Creator. Moreover, it is not pointed at any particular religious denomination in that it suggests contacting one’s rabbi, minister, and priest for helpful suggestions and books. It also states “Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.” Actually, Bill was trying to cover a multitude of approaches in a broad way. In his own case, Bill did spend lots of time with the Episcopalian priest, Dr. Samuel M. Shoemaker, Jr. He later talked a good deal to Father Ed Dowling, S.J. And Bill invited both of these men to speak to AAs at their International Convention. Remarks can be found in A.A. Comes of Age. In addition, Bill was in touch with Father John C. Ford, S.J. and with Monsignor Fulton J. Sheen. The situation was much different for Dr. Bob (and for me). Bob had had extensive and excellent training in the Bible, prayer, Quiet Hour, conversion, and Christian principles and practices when he was a youngster in St. Johnsbury, Vermont. That is what our new title Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous is about. Also our new website http://DrBob.info. Also the new Dr. Bob Core Library just established in the Smith family’s North Congregational Church in St. Johnsbury, Vermont. Having said that, it is equally important to note Dr. Bob’s involvement in the Christian Endeavor Society of his church because most of the principles and practices transmitted to early A.A. by Dr. Bob very closely resemble those in his Christian Endeavor Fellowship. The emphasis was on fellowship and not on church or ministers by the time Dr. Bob set up shop in Akron. For all of his sober life, Dr. Bob was involved in church—Congregational, Episcopal, Presbyterian (See Dr. Bob and His Library). But his son Smitty told me that Dr. Bob didn’t care much for “sky pilots” (preachers) and was more interested in the “message” (the Good Book) than the “messenger.” Accordingly, his first religious association in adult life in Akron was focused on the Christian Fellowship to which he was introduced in the Oxford Group. But it was not Oxford Group. It didn’t have a church. It didn’t have a minister. And what it did have was the very backdrop that Dr. Bob had acquired as a youngster in Vermont. This fellowship was described as holding “old fashioned prayer meetings” or “old fashioned revival meetings.” See DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers and my new title Dr. Bob of Alcoholics Anonymous. As in the Christian Endeavor Society of Dr. Bob’s youth, the following were stressed: 1) Confession of Jesus Christ. 2) Prayer meetings. 3) Bible study meetings. 4) Quiet Hour. 5) The reading of religious literature. In other words, the emphasis was on salvation and growth, not merely conversion alone; and the Oxford Group did not hold with conversion at all. Consequently, early AAs were introduced to Christ in the hospital. They were introduced to fellowship in the homes in which they lived. They were introduced to prayer at the Quiet Times Anne Smith held for AAs and their families each morning. They were introduced to Bible study because the Bible was read frequently, and they were urged to study the Book of James, 1 Corinthians 13, and Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). When he was asked a question about the program, Dr. Bob would usually ask, “What does it say in the Good Book.” The pioneers held individual Quiet Times and also group quiet times where Scripture was read, prayers followed, asking guidance followed that, and then they would discuss either a Bible subject or something from Anne Smith’s Journal which she shared with them. All were led to accept Jesus Christ as their Saviour in a ceremony with two or three others, much in the form of James 5:16. Even more significant in terms of the basic question: Dr. Bob widely distributed a variety of books on prayer, the Bible, the life of Jesus Christ, Quiet Time, and Christian living. He and they made use of a number of devotionals such as the Upper Room, The Runner’s Bible, My Utmost for His Highest, The Greatest Thing in the World, Abundant Living, Soul’s Sincere Desires, The Imitation of Christ, As a Man Thinketh, The Meaning of Prayer, and Daily Strength for Daily Needs. The bottom line is that those who really tried achieved a documented 75% to 93% rate of cures. Now what about my experience? First, I had to get through the seizures, the shakes, and the mental confusion. Second, I dug into A.A. as deeply as I could. Third, before long, I tired of hearing meaningless talk about a “higher power” and “spirituality” and criticism of those who read the Bible. I tired of hearing from my sponsor that people who read the Bible got drunk. And fortunately, I turned to the Bible and a Bible fellowship as part and parcel of my recovery program. I studied and learned the Big Book, the Twelve Steps, and how to sponsor. And then applied the principles among the many men I sponsored in A.A. They learned the Big Book. They “took” the Twelve Steps and learned what it meant to “practice” the last three. They were led into active fellowship participation. And they were led to Christ, to the Bible, and to Bible fellowship and study. What of prayer? The Bible is filled with instructions on how to pray, to whom to pray, for what one can pray, and the importance of repentance, obedience, and believing. It is also clear on the importance of renewing one’s mind to what God reveals to you and what He revealed in His word and through His son. God promises, for example, in Psalm 103 to heal all our diseases, forgive all our iniquities, redeem our lives from destruction and shower us with loving kindness and tender mercies. If He promises it, and if we are obedient to His commandments, we can expect to have the promise fulfilled. And that probably covers my understanding and practice of the principle you offered for discussion.

God Bless, Dick B.
Got the new book? The Conversion of Bill W.
Have you seen our new web site? Dr. Bob and Alcoholics Anonymous

Belonging - healing from spiritual shame

A Sense of belonging
Prayer and Meditation in Action

When I first started praying every day, and then began to learn to include meditation into my prayer life, as a disciplined aspect of my relationship with God, this was a very private area of my life for some time. I thought I was shy and insecure about prayer and I had a lot of fear of being made fun of when it came to my spiritual life, hopes, dreams and beliefs. It took several years for me to learn that I needed to recover from spiritual abuse that had resulted in my deep soul shame.

I experience this sense of belonging today, on a regular basis, but that was not always the case. The gift of 'having a sense of belonging' results from regular prayer and meditation in my life. I would like to share the one experience that began my soul's healing, as it related to prayer and belonging. This came from the efforts of another; my shame and resentments were so deep that I could not reach out to 'connect' spiritually with anyone. It was one special day, while in treatment with 6 years sober, and through the prayers of another that brought me this gift.
I was in my room trying to write my 'assignment' that was the beginning of my treatment program, and I sat at the end of my bed with a blank mind, paper and pen. My roommate walked in, I can not recall her name today or how long she had been sober, but she has never been forgotten by me, as her gift changed the course of my recovery and my life. She asked me what I was doing and after telling her my assignment to write and that I had no thoughts to make note of, she asked me if I had talked to God about it through prayer. I laughed, that 'you have got to be kidding me' kind of laugh, as I would not be in treatment 6 years sober if I could pray.

I told her no I had not, and the next thing she did was to ask me, instead of walking out of the room, "Would you like for me to pray for you?" I said yes, assuming she would walk away leaving me with the notion that I would be prayed for, as this was what I was accustomed too.

That is not what she did. She knelt down in front of me and held my hands and closed her eyes as she began to pray for me. I was shocked that someone I hardly knew was taking the time to stop and pray with me. I do not recall what she said, but I remember those tears as they rolled down my face, recognizing the lack of shame and care in her voice as she prayed to God for my needs. I grieved, accepting the loving offer of prayer she made for me, a stranger. I had never experienced that gift of love from a stranger before, and as she finished praying she got up and walked out of the room, leaving me to write my assignment. And, I was able to do so.

Her love, time and faith encouraged me and broke through my exterior wall of protection and spiritual shame, giving me a sense of belonging for the first time since my best friend had died and I knew I was no longer alone, especially in the spiritual world. I knew that my life depended on a spiritual way of life, but unrealistic idea's, grief and pain had filled my heart with resentments, blocking my soul from the sunlight of the spirit. Her prayer was like opening a dam that had kept me in spiritual prison, letting in fresh air and light.

I have never forgotten her example of action, (even after 20 years) and the effects of spiritual abuse and shame has healed allowing me to 'come out of the spiritual closet.' No longer concerned so much with what others think of me, spiritually. I have grown, not forgetting my former spiritual isolation, shame, fear, anger and loneliness and with her example of action and faith, I became willing to share prayer with others and to pray, talk to God spontaneously, no longer believing only memorized prayers are worthy of His attention.

Today, I am willing to pray for and with others, and have found this to be the action and power that caused the walls of difference, prejudice and shame to crumble, freeing me to experience shared unity that asks nothing in return. Sharing prayer with others is the action that gives me this gift of belonging and has freed me from spiritual isolation to be one in the body of God's family.

With gratitude and in His service
Carol Ann Preston, Chaplain

www.roomforhealing.com
www.take12radio.com

Sense Of Belonging

FEBRUARY QUESTION
The 12+12 states on page 105: "Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us". Share some examples of how this "sense of belonging" has influenced your spiritual journey.


The sense of belonging that comes from repeatedly working a program of recovery is amazing. The acceptance I found at meetings in early recovery, over time spread throughout all areas of my life – to my sense of belonging to my family, a feeling of being a capable and respected colleague at work, the joy of being with other like-minded people at the World Conference or at an out-door concert. Acceptance is circular. I feel it and give it. The sense of belonging here and now so pervades my life that the sheer gratitude for it brings me to spiritual practice. The deeper I experience my connection to life, the more deeply I appreciate it and the deeper I go in spiritual practices to express my appreciation of this gift.

I know that a person like me does not get from being drunk, addicted and shut-down to where I am today without great mental, emotional and physical healing. I find that my sense of belonging is rooted in my conscious contact to God. The pathway to that connection has been the action of the twelve steps that provide a spiritual awakening that heals what appears to be so horribly broken.

Recovery has allowed me to support others in feeling a sense of belonging by supporting them through the steps and enjoying their expanding life journey in recovery.

I remember clearly early recovery and how painful and confusing it can be. It is my passion to support others in finding freedom from addiction and to find that wonderful sense of belonging and that feeling of deep well-being every stage of recovery can bring.

Gail DeWitt www.conscious-contact.com

Belonging - Jody K

The 12+12 states on page 105:

"Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us".

Share some examples of how this "sense of belonging" has influenced your spiritual journey.

This quote is lifted from the final paragraph in that chapter, and if we follow it a little further, we read:

“We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. The moment we catch even a glimpse of God’s will, the moment we begin to see truth, justice, and love as the real and eternal things in life, we are no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds us in purely human affairs.”

That is key to my sense of belonging. I could speak of a sense of belonging in my home group, or in AA as a whole. I could talk about a new sense of belonging in my family, in the lives of my husband and my children. I could mention that, out in the “real” world, among my non-alcoholic peers, I have come to see that I’m really not that different from them, that we have similar goals and different challenges.

But if I focused solely on those human affairs, I would have to admit that sometimes, I’ve seen changes in the meetings I attend and feel a disconnect. An influx of newcomers or a spat between old timers, which sometimes happens, and I might feel on the outside of things. In a house full of adolescents, I sometimes feel I’m no longer the main influence in the lives of my children. When my husband is occupied by work concerns or working with one of his sponsees, I have no role with him. In academia, the landscape does not remain the same. People come and go, as I will, too, eventually, and I can find only temporary security in my surroundings.

I drank because drinking was something I could rely upon. I felt I “belonged” in a numbed state, safe and protected from my emotions, my responsibilities and even my own ego. Until, of course, drinking and drugging no longer provided that protection for me. When it stopped working, when I slowly realized, through the guidance of others and the steps I took towards sobriety, that human beings could not provide with any certainty that protection for me, I accepted that “belonging” could only be found in some much greater plane than that of human existence.

I have been greeted with a cynicism, a suggestion that I am naïve, when I speak of living a blessed existence. “You are not facing reality,” I’ve been told when others point out my physical challenges, when others know of the losses I’ve suffered in my life, heck! Especially when they learn that I’m raising four teenagers! And, it is true, that every day is not one that I would choose, were it up to me, to include as part of a harmonious relationship with the Universe. But it’s not up to me. It’s up to the Universe, and my Higher Power that understands how that Universe is to function in a state of harmony.

I have caught many times a glimpse of God’s will for me, though it doesn’t always come at the time that that will is being carried out. It’s more likely to occur in retrospect when I can see, yes, that day last week/month/year was painful, but as a result of the pain, I am able to identify with and relate to this newcomer in front of me, who is in similar circumstances, who can’t seem to see past today. I can share that experience on the human level because of my belonging in the spiritual realm, my acceptance that, even when I don’t like it, I’m acknowledging my place there. I can offer hope.

I’m getting ready to graduate college this spring. If I look back almost four years to where I was prior to this journey, I could not have visualized it, as I can now. I could not see myself clearly, mortarboard snug to my head, my head held high walking towards the future. I know now that this is a reality, that it has played out exactly as it was supposed to. I belong on this path. But it was a very different story (in my mind) before it happened.

I was sitting in the office of a long-time professor, discussing the possibilities and opportunities for a college education for someone nearly twenty years past high school when she said to me, “Let’s take a walk, shall we?” I went with her to the admissions office, and before I knew it, I was registered for fall classes. I never thought to stop and say, “Wait! I can’t do this!” It was a mere few days before the semester was to start! I had a vacation planned for the following week! Had I resisted, I would have said all these things, and in the course of the next few weeks, I chuckled at them in my thoughts, but I did enroll that day, I did register for classes, I did take my vacation as scheduled (after contacting all my professors and explaining the unusual circumstances). I was in a little bit of shock, really not making any friend that fall, spending time between my classes sitting in my car feeling very much outside of university life.

But all the while, I never thought to quit. I knew, regardless of my discomfort on the human plane, I felt a calmness on the spiritual plane. I knew, regardless of how uncomfortable and difficult this process was at times, my Higher Power was taking care of me. This would not be happening if it wasn’t meant to happen, for the stars aligned and the Universe welcomed me into this circumstance. In looking along the journey, I can see, without a doubt, that it was right for me to have faith and weather out the discomfort in the human scheme of things. By accepting the discomfort as something transient, by believing that were I not meant to be right where I was, I would be guided in another direction, I have come to a place that I can only describe as ecstatic and blissful. I still have difficulty, finding days when my body will not cooperate and I cannot humanly fulfill my duties, and I have been working, very hard, on accepting that, too. I have all the proof of belonging that I need, so aren’t my limitations part of the reason that I do belong?

This is but one example. I belong in my Higher Power’s care, and I know that the Great Spirit that cares for me will reveal in time the truth and justice of all things. All I really need to do is never forget that whether or not I understand certain things, I am always loved, and I belong right here, right where I am, at all times.